Roon's Open Orbit

A course from Honoghr to Roon looked fairly simple on a holographic map; however, it was not that straightforward a journey in reality. The first part, which would take several days in hyperspace, was not complicated, just monotonous. Near Ryloth the fun would begin. Essentially, the crew of the 3-Z light freighter would have to pass Roon, and then backtrack along the Death Wind Corridor. It had always been a tricky plant to find, and the Death Wind Corridor was a famous Twi'Lekkan smuggler route. In fact, it made up on side of the notorious Spice Triangle.

Alexis finished inputting the coordinates for the intermediate stages of space travel in the navicomp, then turned to Kaelan. She knew he didn't like being out of the pilot's seat. "Call me if anything happens, I'm going to check on Mike. You want a cup of stimcaf?" she inquired as she got up and stretched.

Alexis walked back to the semi-cramped passenger quarters, pausing in the common galley to set a brew of stimcaf to heating up. Few things were more demoralizing than ice-cold stimcaf when one was expecting a warm drink. She grabbed a couple protein bars and set off to find Mike.

She was grateful for a couple minutes to herself. The light freighter was a ship that anyone could pilot...so much slower than her StealthX, modified to the point it required the skill of a Jedi to fly it successfully. Anyway, it came with the territory.

Alexis stopped outside Mike's door and knocked firmly. "Mike?"

Multiple ideas of what was happening in Mike's room flashed through Alexis' mind as she could feel the confusion roiling off his Force presence. A flicker of regret passed through her. She hadn't meant to cause such an upset. She held out one of the protein bars, "I thought you might be hungry. I've got some stimcaf heating out here in the galley, and we are currently in hyperspace. The next six days should be relatively calm," she instinctively rapped on the door-frame with her knuckles, "and then the real fun begins."

Alexis Karidian was not stupid. She could tell easily enough that Mike was disappointed, perhaps it was even more obvious because he was trying so hard to appear nonchalant about it. Frankly, she wasn't thrilled herself. This was no light, maneuverable x-wing, and the contrast was almost physically painful from her point of view. So, for her, the thrill and fun would both begin when they neared Ryloth and ran the Corridor. If they were lucky they would not run into pirates, but Alexis did not think much of her luck just lately. And the thought of pirates...it went near to filling her with a cold rage that she did not like.

She opened a bar for herself and was about to crunch down on it, when her eyes shot open wide and she nearly choked as she looked up at Mike with a gasp and then blushed furiously. "Well. REALLY! You could at least try to keep that to yourself!" She spun on her heel and made for the pot of stim-caf as she felt in need of something. Well, probably something a bit stronger than that, but it wouldn't do to be irresponsible at this juncture. She only hoped Kaelan didn't sense her embarrassment from the bridge.

Alexis poured two cups and handed one to Mike, carefully not quite looking at him but not giving the impression of ignoring him either.

"Erm, I can't really think of any at the moment...except I thought it would be interesting to see these underwater caves sometime." She nearly reminded him that if he was as bored as all that, or frightened by flight, he could always hibernate for a time.

"A---tin foil hat?" Alexis queried, unsure how or what that could possibly signify. She sipped at her own stimcaf, nearly scalding her tongue in the process as she considered Mike's offer. "Thank you. But I do not know yet where my path will lie after Roon. Sooner or later I will have to deal with unfinished business on Yavin IV." She supposed that this trip was an effort to run away, at least temporary. But one thing Alexis was not (as a general rule) was irresponsible. She'd face up to her duties, whether real or self-imposed. But sometimes it took a bit of time to work up the mental courage to be able to do so in a creditable fashion.

"It wasn't your fault I guess..." she obliquely referenced what had just happened in a semi-apologetic fashion, "my skill with the Force tends to run stronger in the less flashier applications, unlike Dav. He was a brilliant Battlemaster."

"There's times where I've wished I could walk through a crowded room and be unnoticed," Alexis responded ruefully. She was much more comfortable in the shadowy sidelines at times. Crowds had never been pleasant for her. Most of the time they were tolerable now, given her Jedi training, but growing up, they had been an awful form of torture.

Alexis accepted his offer and sat down, crossing her right leg over her left and balancing her mug on her knee as she considered Mike's question. She realized he was trying to help, but deep down she wanted to slap him for it. And she was fully aware that to give in to that impulse was impossible. She forced a smile and attempted to put things together while ostensibly looking in her mug for inspiration. "Dav was wise, brave, kind---a Jedi, essentially, but he was also human. He tried to act like everything was alright, a facade, you know?" She looked up at Mike, "But his eyes were sad, I could always tell there was so much more than that." The ghost of a smile twitched at her lips, "He was often insufferable, but that was just part of being him. And though we argued, I wouldn't have changed it."

Mike shrugged.

"I don't know. My temple found me wondering around the city one day , living on the streets. I don't remember much from those days, but my master thought it might have been because my parents just sort of forgot I existed, after a while."

He was a boy of maybe thirteen when he first heard that theory, and it had devastated him. But Mike had come to terms with the idea over the years, and it didn't bother him much anymore.

As Alexis spoke, he was forced to revise his opinion of Dav. From the stories, the man might as well have been three meters tall with turbolasers for teeth and lightsabers for claws, but this was an interesting side of him. He had feared for the safety of his apprentice, and probably viewed her as something of a daughter. Leaving her behind was a mistake, in his opinion; it would only retard her growth as a person and as a warrior. But if the man's greatest sin had been caring too much, well, the archaeologist was hardly prepared to pass judgment.

That said, whatever the reasoning had been, it had left a mark on Alexis, one she would probably bear for the rest of her life. Survivor's guilt is a hard thing to overcome. He knew from experience.

"Okay, I'm going to say something that may, in fact, infuriate you. Or maybe you've figured it out on your own, or maybe I'm totally off base. At any rate, the hardest thing for me to accept when my master died was that there wasn't anything I could have done to save him. I could have been more powerful, been a better fighter, a better healer, but he still would have died because I'm not a god.

"A god could have made him change his mind about the decisions he made that led to his death. A god could have saved him from being crushed by the rubble, or from being killed by the blast.

"Dav was a grown man, and he lived and died by the choices he made. Unless you're secretly some sort of deity, there's nothing you could have done to change that. It's not your fault."

Mike looked the young woman square in the eye. His voice was gentle, but his gaze was utterly unyielding. Though he didn't know it, it was exactly the way his master's husband had given him this very same speech, all those years ago.

"It's alright to grieve. In fact, I'd be worried if you didn't. But if you're blaming yourself, you're just insulting his memory. Do you know why?"