Ayeniner
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Post by Ayeniner on Apr 23, 2013 12:23:24 GMT -8
Ayeniner let out a little squeak as a wall of sharp and prolonged 's' sounds assailed his delicate auditory sensors. He turned to the sound, which was rather hard to pinpoint as the deformation of the language meant the sounds bounced in different directions. Ayeniner would call it retarded.
"I'm Ayeniner, God-Droid of the Universe! And who might you be, you big gecko you?" He then eyed up the monstrosity. "In fact, I could use someone like you to carry me around. You currently employed?"
Then, suddenly, the astromech let out one of the many squeals he had in his memory banks; he squealed like a Ronto in heat and his wheels whirled in mid-air as he was lifted up by some mystical force. The Force, he imagined.
Then he found that he was looking into the eyes of his worst enemy.
"Oh. You. Ol' buddy, ol' pal... I haven't told ANYONE that I beat you in our most recent encounter. All those drunken Duros were liars, trying to get me in trouble, see...."
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 12:40:52 GMT -8
"It's a good thing you haven't told anyone something like that," Eralam said. "If you had, I would have to tear you apart right now for telling a lie so big that it might physically rip a hole in the space/time continuum. "
Eralam was almost ashamed to admit that the little droid had popped up. The short fellow with the hair was quickly usurping the title of "Most Annoying Being in the Known Universe." Since Ayeniner had decided to show up, it was quite clear that he would be holding that title for quite some time.
"Now you're going to be a good little droid, right?" the Iron Knight asked. "I would hate to have to see how far up a bantha's bunghole I could get you by launching you out of an air cannon."
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Ayeniner
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Post by Ayeniner on Apr 23, 2013 12:53:40 GMT -8
"Good? Erm... that's not really something my programming can compute with. I'll tell you what. I'll just be myself. That should do it!"
Ayeniner had, in fact, no plans on being 'good'. Being himself would entail causing as much chaos as was astromechly possible. "And, about the Bantha thing; trust me, I wouldn't go far. Just put it down to personal experience and we'll leave it there."
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 13:10:53 GMT -8
Ok, so subtlety was not going to get things done. Scaring the living daylights out of the little shit, that might do things. Eralam began to rotate his grip on Ayeniner, trying to make the bastard spin. He started off slowly, but within a few moments, the droid would hit 50 rpm.
"You are under no circumstances permitted to 'be yourself.' Why don't you try being someone else for a change? Someone who doesn't make me want to spin them until their processor flies across the room in little itty bitty pieces?"
If this didn't work, Eralam would have to resort to something that he hoped never, ever to have to do. He'd have to hire the little bastard. Better to use Ayeniner's talent for annoyance for something useful than to turn him into chunks of slowly cooling scrap.
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Ayeniner
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Post by Ayeniner on Apr 23, 2013 13:20:27 GMT -8
Ayeniner's pride was now hurt. That was the worst thing you could do to a psycho astromech; offend something that he didn't actually possess. He suddenly felt nauseous, though he had no organic, puss-filled, slime-covered organs to generate the feeling, as he was spun more and more violently. "Oi!" He chatted in binary. "You put me down or you will regret it! If I have to go hunting for my memory core.... AGAIN.... then I will not be happy! Do you know how hard it is to remember when you have no memory? If you make me do that, I promise to remember to be the biggest pain in your backside since your father was alive. And I mean that in a literal and incest-laden sense!"
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Cassel Lockpick
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Everything is just so interesting . . . remarkably at the same time!
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Post by Cassel Lockpick on Apr 23, 2013 13:29:43 GMT -8
Cassel had started doing a representation of King Neptune, god of the seas with a tiny sword trident when he saw a floating droid, that was talking to the Iron Knight he had wanted to meet so badly! And he was...spinning? Cassel wondered what the poor little guy had done to offend the Knight, what harm could something so cute and harmless do, right? Feeling it was his right to protect the rights of anyone under 5 feet tall, Cassel took out his full sized Kulu replica hat, tucked his thumbs in between his belt and his trousers and gave his best cowboy strut, complete with jingling spurs, over to the bickering pair. When Cassel got close enough he lifted an index finger to the tall Iron Knight, but was caught up in the whirring and binary beeping of the astromech. Cassel soon became dizzy and the fake Bantha Milk had the urge to come up. Cassel became as green as his sleeves and let loose a full volley of vomit on the floor, all over the Iron Knight's feet.* *Cassel took a handkerchief and wiped the area around his mouth a little, and held out his tiny hand to Eralam. He held his Kulu replica hat from falling down past his eyes with the other.
"Gee I'm awful sorry about that! I can pay for you to go through a speeder wash though, or get buffed and whatnot. Cassel Nathaniel Lockpick is the name. A pleasure to meet'cha!"
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 13:33:58 GMT -8
Well, that settled it. Without further ado, Eralam abruptly stopped the spin, then sent a ferocious straight kick towards Ayeniner, one designed to launch him across the room. That should be enough to slam the metallic asswipe against the wall.
"You listen to me, ya little shit," Eralam said in binary. "You have two choices: you can either work for me and get paid ridiculous amounts of money, or I kill you right here and now. Your call."
The vomit, he was happy to note, never had a chance to hit. The stupidly annoying little midget human had yakked right as A9 got the boot, but that didn't make the Shard any less likely to explode. His temper was through the roof, and anyone even mildly Force sensitive would be able to detect his vast irritation.
"As for you," he shouted, switching back to Basic, "You have been a massive pain all evening."
The RoboNinja turned to address the crowd.
"Anyone who can shut this little ball of peskiness up drinks free on Dressel forever. When you die, you kids inherit the free booze. Any takers?"
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Cassel Lockpick
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Everything is just so interesting . . . remarkably at the same time!
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Post by Cassel Lockpick on Apr 23, 2013 14:03:16 GMT -8
Cassel "EEPED" and withdrew his hand from being shaken, not something that could be accomplished easily. He would make sure he tried again later. He raised a hand signalling for Eralam to stop.
"I really don't talk that much you know, if you think about it. Maybe I just have all these awesome thoughts but my brain just pushes them out my mouth because they need to be shared with everyone around me! I can be quiet on my own, there's no need to be all grumpy. Someone needs a nap. Can shards even nap? I know that rocks can go into comas, but I don't know about crystals...But aren't crystals just some other type of rock or something? But then again I...oh wait...."
Cassel rummaged through his pouches, and almost dropped his shoto lightsaber on the vomit covered floor, and held it in one hand as he took out duct tape.
"I would very much like those free drinks, but instead of alcohol I would like milk a lot better, the white kind. I like that a lot better than the blue kind. And technically I am shutting myself up, so I get the deal."
Cassel put a strip of duct tape over his mouth, and pointed at it and still managed a wide smiled.
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Post by Fisbone on Apr 23, 2013 14:32:14 GMT -8
*The Mon Calamari warrior ignored the annoying mini-person and his "trapping", it was such a common annoyance that it was hardly worth killing him. As much as he would like to Fisbone never killed someone unless there was something in it for him, like a decent glass of watet, or money, money was always acceptable. Fisbone sipped his water and watched as the mini-person went to annoy the shard, and suddenly things got interesting. Suddenly there was free drinks for life on the line. Fisbone stands up and points his trident in the general direction of Cassel.*
I'm in.
*reaching out with his mind and his left hand he mentally grasps the midget and uses the thing most call the Force in an attempt to pull the mini-man directly into his trident. He was a fan of efficiency... and spearing things. *
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Cassel Lockpick
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Everything is just so interesting . . . remarkably at the same time!
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Post by Cassel Lockpick on Apr 23, 2013 14:46:25 GMT -8
Cassel suddenly felt himself being tugged towards a very pointy weapon and frowned instead of panicking like most beings would. Instead Cassel put his hands facing down and used the Force to push himself up, and barely missed the points of the Trident, but continued being pulled, right into the Mon Calamari's face, which Cassel clung to both arm and leg, and squeezed with the might of all four feet of him.
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Dragus
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Post by Dragus on Apr 23, 2013 16:50:18 GMT -8
Dragus' slitted gaze widened. "Free drinksss for life?" The saurian's scaly lips split into a wide, razor tooth filled grin. His forked tongue flicked out of his mouth, escaping along with a deep raspy hiss.
As you could expect, the Sith liked alcohol about as much as any other character on the site, so the offer was quite enticing. However, it was the promise that he found more intriguing than the actual prize. It would seem from the Iron Knight's words that he was some prominent figure on Dressel. Proving himself to the Shard by winning this spontaneous contest might very well gain the Barabel an ally on a world ripe with opportunity. That settled it then.
Reaching into his robe, Dragus removed his wintrium shikkar, a serrated glass dagger as hard as diamond. Quick as lightning he lifted his right arm, using the momentum of the gesture to slide the dagger up, catching the blade between his clawed thumb and index digit. Yet in the instant before he cast his arm and prepared to throw the blade, a thought occurred to him. There were more players in this competition than himself and the short humanoid. Cassel's entanglement with the Mon Calamari proved as much. He grinned wickedly.
Time to thin the competition. At the last moment he spun around and hurled his blade towards Barclay, allowing the dagger to spin end over end towards the bounty hunter's center mass.
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Post by Fisbone on Apr 23, 2013 16:53:08 GMT -8
*The instant the mini-man missed the trident and aimed for his face Fisbone ducked, letting Cassel soar over him. At the same time the Mon Cal whips up the back side of his trident at the little man's face. Even if the midget manages to get all 4 appendages around the weapon instead of taking it to the face Fisbone plans to just slam Cassel into the ground. Unfortunately this wasn't going to be as easy as the Mon Cal had hoped. One of these days he'd take an easy fight with major payout... of course first that would require finding one. The Mon Calamarian exile was now fully enraged, just wanting to break anyone and anything really. In all honesty he just wanted to smash something.*
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Cassel Lockpick
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Everything is just so interesting . . . remarkably at the same time!
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Post by Cassel Lockpick on Apr 23, 2013 17:13:29 GMT -8
Cassel's eyes widened as he missed and pushed himself up more, at the ceiling, and latched on. Focusing so much it made his brain throb, Cassel held himself up, and stood, upside down, on the ceiling. He took out his shoto lightsaber and the indigo blade shot out, the fwoosh saying it all that he was beginning the mean business. This combat ready persona would be a surprise for anyone who might have known Cassel previous. What wouldn't be a surprise was that he still had the strip of duct tape covering his mouth.* *Cassel knew he could not stay on the ceiling long, so he ran as fast as he could away from Fisbone and to a part of the bar that was just a bit less crowded. Just as soon as Cassel thought he was going to pass out from blood going to his head, his concentration slipped, and with the combined weight of his pouches he fell head first onto the floor. Thankfully his topknot served as a little cushion, but the short guy's lightsaber slipped from his hand and it slid across the room, and out of his direct reach. Too dazed to use to the Force at the moment, Cassel flipped up and over and back onto his feet, ripped the tape off his face, and smiled cheekily at the crowd of people that wanted him dead. It wasn't the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last. He waved nervously.
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Zed Bakiska
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Post by Zed Bakiska on Apr 23, 2013 18:30:55 GMT -8
Free booze? Being a Balosar he loved to partake in stuff that would kill a normal being, he would shut this being up and drink the planet dry! Watching as the people sailed through the air it became apparent that at least two of these people were force users. It was times like this he wished that he had his armour on. Taking his revolver out from under his jacket he fired once into the air the shot hitting the roof his eyes wandering from person to person before he aimed the weapon at the man who had just been on the ceiling. Tell you what buddy, we can split it. Half a lifetime of free drinks on the planet if you say it was me that shut you up... Actually no dont say anything just nod your head. He honestly couldnt give two fucks about the force user, he had taken on a few and walked away unscathed so this one would hopefully be the same. Of course this being a blue light planet could change all that.
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Ayeniner
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Post by Ayeniner on Apr 23, 2013 22:59:36 GMT -8
Ayeniner beeped like there was no tomorrow as he flew across the room, the kick being more than enough to shoot the small astromech right into the wall. Lucky for Ayeniner, he was made of sturdy stuff, and only a few screws and bolts popped out. Not being able to feel pain, he had no idea that there was a large dint in his head now. When he found out, he probably would be incredulously angry and begin the daily sacrifices of disabled child organics - his top dream!
When he managed to right himself, rather ingeniously by spraying compressed air towards the floor and then reversing with his wheels so he was upright once again, he saw that the place was in chaos.
Chaos.
CHAOS.
He turned to his ol' buddy, one who he definitely beat in their last duel. "If this is what it's like around you, then consider me hired!"
And then Ayeniner let out a mighty war-cry, tucked deep into his front compartment, and out popped an arm. Not just any arm; this was quite an articulated one... and it ended in a lightsaber. He hummed it on, the yellow-white blade snap-hissing to life.
"Who wants some, eh?!?! COME AT ME BRAH!"
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Dragus
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In front of the Empire, to all you Vader haters out there. We'll blow your planet up.
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Post by Dragus on Apr 24, 2013 5:11:02 GMT -8
Uncertain what was going on with the knife he had thrown at Barclay in his last post, Dragus decided to move on to other prospects. The snap/hiss of a lightsaber caught his ear, causing the Sithly saurian to spin around and spot the foul mouthed astromech. I'd like to say that he was surprised by seeing the droid wield a lightsaber, but to be honest given the way it had been behaving, this sorta seemed to make sense.
Extending his left arm out to the side, the Barabel drew on the Force, summoning the lightsaber hilt from his hip. The silvery cylinder slapped into his scaly palm as his clawed fingers closed around it. With a flick of his primary digit, he thumbed the activation stud, igniting the blade and causing a crimson beam of death to extend 1.2 meters from the emitter. He pointed the blade towards Ayeniner, accepting the droid's challenge.
"Thisss one iz not a brah!" He then lifted the hilt over his head, grabbing it in a two handed grip before advancing on the droid, classic horse stance. When in range he swung the blade down in a vertical slash, hoping to split the astromech into two.
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Post by Jassar Yulan on Apr 24, 2013 5:47:55 GMT -8
Jassar sighed as this small fight was beneath him. But, it did get his warm blood running. And, a fight was a perfect moment to do what he always did. Rob the fuck out of people and maybe kill a few. He leaped over the bar while the others were fighting and landed a strong punch towards the bartender and the other protocol droid. He hated droids. He sent the bartender flying as his scrawny ass was no match for this Tarro's unheard of strength. He began to have the credits of the bar siphoned away into a bank account on Muun that ran through several layers of redirects to another mysterious bank account.
His eyes were trained on the one who called himself Ayeniner. He could break the droid apart in two maybe three easy hits from his strong hands themselves. He muttered in Tarrese.
The Tarro waited for the right time to land a hit. He watched as they brawled. Right now he was a bit calm but his seven fingers flexed from a tense state to a relaxed state. His claws were ready to rip that droid apart and have the lizard for desert. He punched the bartender back down as he tried to get up. He muttered in Tarrese.
However, the Tarro could speak basic but there was no point. He would let the droid know soon enough that he did not like it. Now the Iron knight would be his next target. His weapons remained hidden in a sack underneath a table just in case his strength and his claws were to come up short. Which they rarely did.
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Post by Fisbone on Apr 24, 2013 10:58:38 GMT -8
*Seeing as he and the revolver wielding human were the only ones concentrating on the target Fisbone was liking his prospects. Of course there was still the bounty hunter to deal with.. of course dealing might just be what is needed. Carefully avoiding the vicious being with a droid issue, and the large Barabel who thinks he is an Ewok Fisbone makes his way across the bar to where Barclay stands facing the annoying midget, leaving his trident pointed at the mini-man.*
How about WE team up. Rid the galaxy of this rather annoying creature. *He gestures to Cassel* Then enjoy a good drink at Iron man's expense. *his gravely voice sounds oddly amused at this whole situation*
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Ayeniner
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Post by Ayeniner on Apr 24, 2013 11:33:38 GMT -8
Ayeniner, though he did not have the Force or 'sixth sense', as some organics called it, was gifted with a memory core that was way overdue a wipe. This let him behave in a manner that completely ignored his inhibitors that came with astromech droids. This let him get into crazy situations like the one he was in now. This let him have duels with big geckos.
Ayeniner lifted his lightsaber arm - a gift from Eralam himself on their last duel (of which Ayeniner won, of course) - and held the yellow blade on a horizontal angle that completely blocked the big lizard's vertical swipe. Ayeniner was always grateful that he didn't suffer the lactic acid downside of prolonged struggles, but a small astromech could not match an overgrown and mutated monkey lizard in strength. Immediately his arm began descending as it fought against the sheer muscle power of the organic he was facing.
Damn random-evolution giving the gecko such sinewy muscles!
To stop himself being chopped in half - and therefore ending the universe in an explosion of which has not been seen since the Big Bang - Ayeniner extended his shock arm from his body, and done the unthinkable.
He sent an electric current for the gecko's crotch.
"Mwahahaahahaha" He said in a deep, completely fabricated voice.
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Dragus
The Sith Eternal
In front of the Empire, to all you Vader haters out there. We'll blow your planet up.
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Post by Dragus on Apr 24, 2013 11:56:59 GMT -8
There was a savage glee on the face of the Sith as his lightsaber struck Ayeniner's. Deadly combat always had a way of improving his mood. His satisfaction increased with every inch his lightsaber gained on the astromech, inching ever closer to its metal dome. It was at times like these that he thanked his bestial body for its greater strength. Yet before his crimson blade made contact and reduced the droid to molten slag, the astromech's shock arm extended and shot a bolt of electric current directly at Dragus'...
Stop. Gonads? Possibly. I don't know a heck of a lot about reptiles, let alone giant space lizards, but I do know I've never seen a gecko with a big schlong. Are they internal? Do males lay eggs. All excellent questions that I have no answer for. That said, being all sentient like we can probably assume he does have something there. Plus balls or not, getting shocked by electrical current in going to hurt quite a bit.
So suffice it to say, as the electrical current shocked the Sith in his nether-regions, he broke off his attack and leaped back a few paces, snarling with bestial rage. "Gah!" He temporarily released his right hand from his lightsaber, lowering it to his groin and massaging the singed area. He even took a second to look down and make sure that everything was still there. Anger rose in the Barabel, part primal and part practiced, fueling his connection to the malevolent fey.
"You're going to pay for that, trash can." He hissed in his raspy manner.
Releasing his groin, Dragus extended his right hand towards a nearby pitcher of beer, still three quarters full. Grasping it with the invisible tendrils of the Force, the darksider telekinetically pulled the pitcher from the table and hurled it towards Ayeniner, hoping to shatter the glass on the astromech and give him a good soaking.
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