Xeonon Solomon
The First Order
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Post by Xeonon Solomon on May 14, 2013 18:23:56 GMT -8
Your martial art skills are now boss, and you enter into a compitition with Jackie Chan, who defeats you in the first round despite him only knowing movie kung fu. He beats you with the use of a paper fan because he can.
I wish I could bust a rhyme any time.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2013 18:28:54 GMT -8
You can bust a rhyme at any time. Your abuse of this ability leads to your assassination at the hands of a group of radical poets that believe free verse is the only true form of poetry.
I wish I could successfully pilot a helicopter.
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Post by Aherk Fyyar on May 14, 2013 20:00:14 GMT -8
And you can pilot a helicopter! The cost of lessons has thoroughly drained your bank account, and the mortgage is due. Enjoy homelessness.
I wish I ruled the universe.
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Xeonon Solomon
The First Order
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Post by Xeonon Solomon on May 15, 2013 2:45:15 GMT -8
You rule the Universe however under your control you meddle in the affairs of different planets that have life. Or worse yet you create life. This leads to giant interstellar wars that eventually culminate in the total destruction of your domain.
I wish that I dont have to work today.
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Post by Aherk Fyyar on May 15, 2013 8:04:50 GMT -8
And you don't! That's because the company you work for utterly collapsed! Your boss shouldn't have absconded with funds / stolen a red stapler / sold short.
I wish for invincibility.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 15, 2013 12:19:31 GMT -8
You are now invincible. Nothing can hurt you, and I mean literally nothing, not even old age. No blow can ever harm you, or cause you pain...or pleasure. Or even sensation. You will spend the rest of your limitless existence in a grey fog of tactile nothingness, unable to feel even the slightest touch.
I wish for delicious cupcakes.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2013 12:27:12 GMT -8
You get delicious cupcakes. Delicious, tasty, moist, and laced with botulism. Sorry about that.
I wish for the same sort of healing factor that Wolverine has.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 15, 2013 12:45:12 GMT -8
You get the same healing factor, complete with forever-young immortality. Of course, this makes you subject to the immutable law that faces all humanoid immortals: namely, that the longer you live, the more likely it is that you will eventually be trapped forever with no possibility of escape. Since on an immortal's timeline this probability eventually approaches 100%, well...enjoy your collapsed mineshaft or live burial via avalanche, sucker.
I wish I had the ability to UN-corrupt corrupted wishes.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2013 13:12:26 GMT -8
You can uncorrupt wishes. Doing so requires you to watch and read the entire Twilight Saga, on the grounds that great suffering is only undone by even greater suffering.
I wish for a battery that never runs out of power.
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Devlin Dewe
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Post by Devlin Dewe on May 15, 2013 13:56:56 GMT -8
You have said battery. It's a 9 volt. Never runs out because nothing uses it...in this new future. But, even if you did use it, it's still only a 9 volt that never runs out.
I wish I could go back to the beginning.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2013 14:29:25 GMT -8
You go back to the beginning... but with oxygen having not yet been created you die instantly
I wish to be able to use pokemon attacks
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Devlin Dewe
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Post by Devlin Dewe on May 15, 2013 14:56:46 GMT -8
You can, but you can only use Magikarp's Splash.
I wish I was Richard Castle.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2013 16:28:36 GMT -8
You are Richard Castle. As a fictional character, you are constantly a slave to the writers, with no free will of your own.
I wish I had more Top Gear.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2013 16:32:47 GMT -8
You have more Top Gear. It consumes your life and you die of starvation.
I wish I had a Corvette.
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Xeonon Solomon
The First Order
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Affiliation: First Order
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Post by Xeonon Solomon on May 15, 2013 19:21:58 GMT -8
You now have a Corvette but it is a toy and only works on Durins day.
I wish my final Gambit works.
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Gukky
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I remember... The Major.
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Post by Gukky on May 16, 2013 6:55:29 GMT -8
It does and success makes you lazy and arrogant. The next problem hits you like a ton of bricks.
I wish I could buy knowledge.
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Devlin Dewe
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Post by Devlin Dewe on May 16, 2013 10:13:46 GMT -8
You can buy knowledge. Unfortunately, it costs $450 per credit hour. That doesn't count books, supplies, miscellaneous expenditures, your addiction to WoW, TOR, and ST: Online, your cable and internet, or room and board.
I wish Dav Man'Sell's writer became the next Doctor (what number are they on, anyway) on BBC's Dr. Who and was better even than David Tenant.
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Dav Man'Sell
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Post by Dav Man'Sell on May 16, 2013 15:37:49 GMT -8
... well, I came back to this at the opportune moment.
Success! I am the next Doctor on Doctor Who, number 12. However, I'm so good at it, no-one ever wants me to leave. When I do leave, the popularity crash is so severe that the BBC itself goes out of business. That means no more Sherlock, no more BBC News, and definitely no more Doctor Who. Good job breaking it, Devlin.
I wish I was the Doctor in real life.
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Xeonon Solomon
The First Order
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Affiliation: First Order
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Post by Xeonon Solomon on May 16, 2013 16:45:34 GMT -8
You are the Doctor in real life except you put your time lordness into a stop watch that was promptly shot into space by your enemies. You are now the only human on Earth because for some reason you decided to go back to the late Cretasious (sorry about the spelling) were when your watch comes back in atmosphere it kills off over 95% of life. Good job, not only are you dead you just committed Genocide. Again.
I wish that I was able to procure a device that does stuff and things.
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Dav Man'Sell
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Post by Dav Man'Sell on May 16, 2013 16:49:49 GMT -8
You procure said device. However, there was a bit of a chinese whisper effect between you and the genie that answered your wish: The device, upon first activating, proceeds to stuff your "thingy" with sage and herb stuffing. The effect is painful, unsettling, and above all, permanent.
I wish for the answer
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