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Post by Lanette Shan Terr on Aug 24, 2016 13:25:56 GMT -8
The more her creator spoke, the less Lana wanted to hear. But for some reason, she stayed quiet, listening. Elly had been okay the whole time, she had..
There had to be a good reason. There had to be a good reason for ALL of this. Eliana wouldn't have done anything without a reason. And she certainly seemed to feel bad about it. Maybe she had learned? Lana hoped so, she really wanted Na'an and Elly to be friends again..
"Mama?"
Her voice was quiet in the wake of her creator's exposition.
"Did you hurt anybody while you were gone?"
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on Aug 25, 2016 9:56:26 GMT -8
And there it was. Na'an cocked her head towards her bad eye, turning the blank patch towards Eliana. "I'm not sure that's the right question," she said quietly. "A better one is whether or not she's even aware of how big the list of people she's hurt is."
She didn't look back for Eliana's answer; instead, she stood swiftly, shifting the mechanism from hand to hand. "Leigh still hasn't made her peace with it, you know. What happened to those Rodian kids. She blames herself, she says she parsed the order's parameters wrong."
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Post by Eliana Shan on Aug 31, 2016 20:32:49 GMT -8
"Not on purpose, 02. Not on purpose."
She watched her daughter for any sign of a reaction. There was none. Her gaze flickered over to Na'an again, a hollowness in her eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about. And my question still stands."
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on Sept 3, 2016 18:40:47 GMT -8
"...Fine. You wanna know what I want, Elly?"
The line of Na'an's shoulders suddenly snapped upwards. Turning on her heel, she rounded on the bed and slammed the crystal mechanism down on the nearby table. Her now-empty hands dove into her pockets, fishing around the half-empty bottle for something else entirely.
"I want accountability for once in your damned life," she said, each word seeming to cut their way out of her. "I want consequence. You've been careless, and you've been selfish, and you keep acting like...like you've done nothing wrong, like you're being persecuted! People are dead because of the choices you've made, the minute we meet you're bringing a warzone down on innocent heads, and the fact that you can say 'not on purpose' like it makes it okay, it's even worse because it, it just means that they don't mean anything to you! You didn't know them, so who cares, huh?
And what about them, Elly? The LE units? You call them your children, so tell me--is what you just described how a parent treats her kids? Giving them orders that lead them to do what Leigh did? 'Cause if it is, I guess I should be glad I never had any!"
Her hands found what they were looking for--a small flat holoprojector roughly the size of her palm. Pulling it loose, Na'an slammed the projector down on the table next to the crystal, keeping her thumb just over the play button. A single twitch would play the video stored on it, for the first time in almost three years.
"How am I supposed to feel about this, Elly?" she said wildly, knowing that the child resting on her mother's chest could hear every word, would read every inflection. "How am I supposed to respond?"
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Post by Lanette Shan Terr on Sept 6, 2016 20:29:54 GMT -8
Eliana had opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Lana interrupted.
"Stop it, Na'an!!"
She had heard quite enough, and maybe her creator had messed up, maybe she had messed up bad and she had hurt a lot of people and she should feel bad... But there was no reason to rub it in like this!!
"Why are you being so MEAN??"
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Adelle Bastiel
Member
Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
Posts: 338 
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on Sept 6, 2016 20:59:57 GMT -8
"Because she's been hurt the most."
Adelle had slipped in quietly at the end of Na'an's tirade, the air thick with her former patient's emotions. In contrast, Adelle felt oddly calm. The Force around her felt frozen smooth and she felt as if she could see everything plainly. With a small gesture, she Pulled the device that had been under Na'an's looming thumb. A holo-recorder. And if Na'an had been threatening with it, she could just imagine what was on it. Adelle frowned at the device then directed her gaze at Na'an, although her displeasure was lost on the young woman. Na'an looked stricken, like someone had knocked the wind from her. Adelle slipped the holo-recorder into a pocket. Later, she and Na'an would have a chat about it and why she still had this. Perhaps it would be useful for Elly, but not when emotions ran rampant. Right now, cooler heads needed to prevail. She walked up and touched Na'an's shoulder to get her attention.
"Na'an, I think it's time you rested. Leigh is still in my quarters if you need her," she said firmly. "And Lana, I will explain this to you later. Both of you need to leave. Now."
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Post by Lanette Shan Terr on Sept 6, 2016 21:42:47 GMT -8
Adelle was going to take over the conversation completely, and everyone was getting kicked out. Lana was fine with that, but she wanted to seem stubborn for appearance's sake. She crossed her arms and sat there for a few seconds, then sighed.
"...Fiiiiine."
And with that, she was off the bed and out the door. There were things she needed to process, and she wanted to be in her place of peace to do so..
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on Sept 11, 2016 16:00:09 GMT -8
"Wha--"
Na'an whirled around at the gentle touch to find Adelle only inches in front of her nose. The look on Doc's face--pity, anger, and a familiar understanding--sent blood rushing into Na'an's face again, and she twitched out from under the hand reflexively. "I'm not--" she said, gesturing wildly, struggling to find what came next. "I'm not--"
It stuck in her throat, and her mouth worked angrily, trying to force out the words. But that look....Doc knew her. She'd come here to learn something, and she had--although not what she had wanted. Nothing she could say would ever make Eliana Shan listen, or care, and if she stayed any longer, she'd do something she would regret. She was too close to the situation. She felt it too much.
Doc knew it all, and even as awful as she'd been in the last few hours, she came to stop her.
"Yeah. Yeah, ok. I'll be outside," she finally said, bowing her head to Adelle--whether in shame or gratitude, it was impossible to say. She turned on her heel and stalked towards the door, only pausing just outside the door to reach for the panel.
"I wish I could be happy to see you."
The door clicked shut behind her.
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Post by Eliana Shan on Sept 11, 2016 18:30:31 GMT -8
"Me-.."
"..too.."
She sighed. With the door closed, she was now alone with Adelle. Elly didn't quite know what to make of this scene, but she doubted it would be good for her.
None of this had been good for her.
"...Hi, Adelle."
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Adelle Bastiel
Member
Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
Posts: 338
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on Sept 11, 2016 21:22:37 GMT -8
An eyebrow rose in response to the passive disobedience from the small Life Emulator but Adelle said nothing. Na'an's reaction warranted more attention. Her arms flailed while her face flushed—caught off guard, intending to justify, defensive, or ashamed? The cold burn Adelle felt in the Force faded as Na'an fell into a momentary but ponderous silence all the same. The emotions running through the other woman shifted so quick Adelle couldn't be sure if she'd felt their existence or imagined it. Finally they stabilized. Mostly.
Adelle huffed a short sigh, vaguely aware of the antiseptic that practically lived on the medcenter's surfaces. Part of her wanted to walk out with her, smooth things over. Na'an seemed out of sorts since their argument earlier in her office. It had been around two years since their last appointment. They were no longer bound to a strict patient-doctor code of conduct and Na'an didn't seem to understand that. The door closed with a soft hiss and a click as it latched shut. Adelle still stared at the door, feeling the icy fire drain from her.
The cold snapped back into place. The unearned familiarity grated on her last nerve and she'd just about had it with the aura of innocence and self-assured victim mindset Elly had. Adelle's face turned to stone as an arm shot out. Everything in the room slightly moved back into their former places, before whatever conflict had happened here. She finally faced Eliana Shan, meeting the woman's tired gaze with two-toned ice. Some part of her brain acknowledged and approved that Eliana's injured eye had been fully restored.
"Miss Shan," she said. "Silence." She focused her attention and her Focus on the air surrounding the woman and her bed. Molecules and atoms too small to be seen collided eternally in not quite empty space, moving in an intricate dance. Adelle breathed in the Force and gently, every so patiently guided most of the oxygen away from Eliana. It wouldn't be enough to suffocate the woman, but it would be all she could do to breathe. It would be much easier to simply show Eliana the pain of having your will stripped from you, the surreal horror of seeing your body do actions you wouldn't normally commit. Adelle didn't even have to touch her to do it. She could reach out, touch Elly's mind, and fall back into the pit of memory, dragging Eliana and her arrogant mind along.
"Let me clarify your stay here. You are, by all accounts, a known criminal. You have demonstrated a complete lack of respect for life in its various forms, indicative of sociopathy." Adelle paced a little, letting her subconscious do the hard labor of keeping the air near Eliana at its current Force-induced level of oxygen. She bit her tongue, biting back her complaints about Nar Shaddaa and that clusterkriff of an operation. "Worse, if possible, is the fact that you created two Artificial Intelligences, gave them emotions as close to organically possible, granted them freewill, called them your children, and then installed a shackling protocol within their programming. Most organics call that slavery. You call it motherhood."
Adelle stopped and stood in front of the woman, a mixture of anger and disgust on her face. "What the actual fuck, Eliana Shan. I don't know what you intended by that protocol. I don't care. Because the simple fact of the matter is you did it. You installed a program that obliterates free will into beings you claimed to love as much as a mother her child. In CorSec, we call those kinds of mothers psychotic. Abusive. We separate their children from them, strip them of their rights as custodians and guardians, and put the children into a broken system, trying to find a place that will heal the damage done. But Leigh and Lana aren't organic, so no one else cares."
Stay on topic. Focus. Adelle ran a hand over her face and composed herself. "I don't know what you were thinking, if you thought at all about the consequences. Perhaps you were so busy thinking about if you could, you forgot to think about if you should. All actions have consequences, Miss Shan. Yours has had a long, enduring string of consequences that nearly killed Leigh, drove Na'an insane, and almost killed her." She pulled out the holodisk Na'an had threatened with earlier. "This... This has a lot of bad memories on it for Na'an. For Leigh. For the third being of what you call your offspring and legacy. You can't have foreseen this. Not without the Force and the future is always shifting and in motion. But it could have been prevented."
She pocketed the holodisk. "My father once told me that the road to Corellia's nine hells are paved with good intentions. Seems you travel that road pretty well."
Adelle turned and walked out the room, flicking a wrist. Oxygen flooded into the area around Eliana's bed again. As Adelle palmed the door closed, she nudged the dozing guard. "Hey. If you're tired, get someone to replace you. This room is supposed to be off-limits except to authorized personnel. Find your replacement and tell him Master Aerandir is on his way with a security detail to transfer the prisoner to the cells."
"What if my replacement's a chick?" he called as she walked away.
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK," came the reply.
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Post by Eliana Shan on Sept 12, 2016 22:06:55 GMT -8
Adelle's strategy to keep her quiet worked like a charm. The fact that she was struggling to breathe was part of the reason she didn't say a word during the whole tirade. Throughout it, she kept wanting to jump in with "but I didn't"... but for every "but I didn't" there were so many "yes you did"s.
As the Jedi healer continued, the voice of rebellion in her head quieted. The words were sinking in. Adelle was right.. she had never stopped to think about the consequences of her actions.. She had..
...just been trying...
...oh.
Adelle turned to leave, and the air came rushing back in.. and with it came a single thought.
I don't deserve them.
She had lived her life knowing that she would have to "die" for a time. She had made friends. She had created children, for goodness's sake. And she had always stood by them.. Until she had to leave. And after that... what had she become?
A monster.
I don't..
Adelle was right. Na'an was right. She had .. she had done terrible things. Made terrible decisions. Left her friends to rot. She had abandoned her kids.
What the FUCK were you doing?
Thousands of people had come to her for aid on Nar Shaddaa. Millions had been affected by her work. Billions had been exploited. They had all been numbers to her.
Is that what your friends are, too? Your fucking FAMILY??
Her fingers tightened into fists.
You don't deserve your friends. If you can even call them that anymore.
A few sparks started flying from her left hand. A single drop of blood fell from where her nails were digging in.
You don't deserve your daughters.
Another drop. Another. And another. Still she tightened her fists.
You don't even deserve this life.
You just deserve this pain.
And with that, the air left her lungs in a piercing scream, a sound of anguish and regret that quickly deteriorated into incoherent sobbing. There were barely any tears, just empty shaking and trembling.
This is what you deserve.
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Aerandir Calmcacil
The Jedi Order
Posts: 1,731
Affiliation: The Jedi Order
Traffic Light: Green
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Post by Aerandir Calmcacil on Sept 13, 2016 20:58:16 GMT -8
*So, Eliana Shan was now in a condition where she could be moved from the medical facilities to the detention center, and Adelle, care of Morgan, had requested the transfer. Aerandir had to admit, he almost wished to use the opportunity to personally speak with Eliana, learn more about her, get his own opinion on her before any sort of verdict came down upon her.
But that notion shattered when he arrived and saw the state she was presently in. Something had happened here... and the wounds in her palm seemed self-inflicted. Aerandir directed a medic to bandage them while Aerandir himself assessed Eliana's mental state. Outwardly, she seemed blank, save for the glistening eyes and trembling frame. Mentally, she seemed tormented. He attempted to communicate with her, but received nothing verbally. He was going to have to have a chat with Adelle and anyone else who had seen her since she'd been moved into here to find out what in the hell happened.
He motioned at the two occupants at the door, fellow Masters Bix, a human, and Tookli Yandar, a Chadra-Fan, both male. At the very least, she seemed to respond to instruction, so they were at least able to get her to stand, Tookli cuffing her hands behind her back. The device that had helped suppress her connection to the Force—a strange device, to be sure, but one Eliana had elected to use—was sitting next to the bed. Bix collected that upon instruction.*
"Hate to do this, but it's for everyone's safety," *Aerandir explained.* "Including yours." *Whether or not she actually processed these words, he was unsure; she definitely would need some kind of psychiatric evaluation. With him in the lead, Bix following her, and Tookli flanking her, the trio of Jedi Masters led her out of the medical facilities...*
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on Sept 14, 2016 16:48:21 GMT -8
Na'an had obeyed, but she didn't go far. Instead of heading back to the dormitories, she instead jogged only a few yards away from the door that led into the medical center. Her back slammed into the wall with a soft thump, and she out pulled the half-full bottle of tihaar that had been waiting in her pocket. As she slid down to sit on the floor, she took a swig of the sweet, oily liquor, gasping sharply as the scent of it hit her sinuses. The liquid burned as it went down, and Na'an curled her knees to her chest as if to keep the fire there.
So the kid would despise her now, as well as Doc. That was just as well; Na'an had had three days to get used to being hated by somebody again. Four people did just as well as two, and with Lana and Adelle, at least she deserved it. She'd spent the last few hours letting her instincts and her fraying nerves lead her around by the nose, mouthing off and saying true things in the most awful way she could think of. Using Morgan to make Doc listen to her? Forcing Lana to confront everything all at once, just to...do what, exactly? Get some kind of closure? Make sure she didn't become some kind of pawn once Na'an and Leigh weren't there to protect her?
Or maybe this was just the kind of person she was when angry. Maybe Na'an just had a nasty streak.
Yet somehow, she couldn't resist mouthing off one more time. Doc had just come out of the hall, with a look on her face like cold murder, and it didn't seem right for that kind of look to not be aimed at someone. "I won't apologize for bringing the kid," she said stubbornly to her knees, knowing that Doc wasn't the kind of woman to ignore a stubborn patient talking to herself. "I should have gotten a guard, but the kid deserved honesty."
The door opened again, and an entire group came out--the Master, and two other Jedi flanking Elly. Na'an took another swallow of the bottle rather than look up at her former friend, staring angrily at a thin spot in the fabric over her knees. She'd felt the woman's distress as she suddenly understood, as sharp as the tihaar and twice as awful. So Doc had finally been able to vocalize what she hadn't been able to. She should have known that Doc would have managed it far better than Na'an ever could. Doc was...Doc was good. Doc understood people. She could probably even make a Sith Lord feel regret.
"Let 'em hate me," she mumbled, more to herself than to Adelle. "I can take it."
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Adelle Bastiel
Member
Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
Posts: 338
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on Sept 15, 2016 19:05:10 GMT -8
That was the last straw. She could handle her space being invaded. She could handle having to reign in Na'an. She could even handle being told on the way to the Medcenter that there was a private matter she had to deal with. Adelle spun on her heel. She roughly lifted Na'an with the Force and grabbed her shoulders, shoving her against the wall. Na'an felt so small in her hands.
"You don't get to do that to me," she said, bringing her face close to Na'an's. "You of all people don't get to do that. Wallow all you want in your self-pity, woe-is-me mindset. Drown yourself in your feelings and your bottle. But you don't get to broadcast it. That's no better than her shit! I'm so sick of dealing with that. I'm just so . . . tired of it."
Her grip loosened and she hung her head. This wasn't like her. The Doctor Jedi didn't snap at people. Didn't slam them against walls. She took a steadying breath. "Do not scare me like that again. Lana's chassis is custom-built and she was built with combat in mind. Something a mechanic wanted. Check your info before doing something that reckless again."
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on Sept 23, 2016 18:10:00 GMT -8
Na'an's head slammed into the wall as Adelle forced her up and pinned her down, and she dropped the bottle to let it spill out across the floor. She'd never seen her this angry,, not even the last time they had argued; the Healer was flushed and bristling with fury, her breath hot against Na'an's face as she went off.
Na'an bridled in response, her face heating as she prided herself loose from Adelle's grip "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that I was doing anything you wouldn't do," she said, wondering what the hell she was thinking even as the words came out of her mouth. "Doc. I knew the risks, and decided I could handle it. Just like you did on Nar Shaddaa."
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Adelle Bastiel
Member
Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
Posts: 338
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on Sept 24, 2016 12:38:05 GMT -8
That ignited the cold fire she'd tried to extinguish. Tired as she was, that kind of hypocrisy Na'an pulled brought out the worst. She had expected better.
"Don't even," Adelle snarled. "You called me out. Put me in my place. Used my daughter to make your point. You don't get to use that as a defense!"
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on Sept 24, 2016 14:51:45 GMT -8
"And you," Na'an shot back, "Don't get to make me worry like that then lecture me like it didn't happen!"
Now it was her closing the gap between them, fists clenched hard enough at her sides to whiten the knuckles. To an outsider, the pair looked like they would come to blows at any moment, the air between them trembling in their mutual anger; then, inexplicably, Na'an backed down again.
"Look," she finished, sucking in a deep breath. Some of her hair had fallen loose from its tie, sticking damply to her forehead; she pushed them back in a quick, harried gesture. "I'm having...a little trouble reconciling all of this new information. I know my place, and I'm...trying...to get back into it, but you're going to have to cut me some slack here, Doc, I'm under a lot of stress."
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Adelle Bastiel
Member
Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
Posts: 338
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on Sept 24, 2016 16:57:01 GMT -8
Adelle didn't back off even as Na'an advanced, daring Na'an to get physical. That would just make her day. As Na'an softened, she felt the ice and fire ebb. Until Na'an called her Doc. Blood roared in her ears.
"Stop calling me that," she said. "I'm not your doctor. And you're not my patient anymore!"
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on Sept 24, 2016 17:14:24 GMT -8
That was clearly not what Na'an had expected, if she'd expected anything anymore. She rocked back, then stepped away on her heels, looking like she'd just been slapped.
"Wait...what?" Her hand loosened, rested over the last tiny bulge in her pocket--the saline solution Adelle have given her only hours ago. "But my eye...you..."
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Adelle Bastiel
Member
Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
Posts: 338
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on Sept 24, 2016 17:37:37 GMT -8
That... That wasn't the right response. Confusion battled with anger. Adelle stared at Na'an and the almost forlorn look on her face. It was . . . hurt. Shocked. Almost like the wind had been knocked from her lungs. Adelle rubbed her forehead with her fingers, trying to sort this out. Clearly "Doc" had meant more than "doctor" to Na'an.
"I did that because it was bothering you," Adelle said. "It needed help and you weren't asking for it. I just . . ."
Why had she done it? If she really believed her own words, she had no further obligation to Na'an. Logically, there wasn't a point to helping Na'an unless it was asked for. Gone was the rush of words brought on by fire. Adelle chose her words slowly. "It . . . seemed like you were— Like you were in pain. And that bothered me."
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