Jena Shaewe
Red Dawn Medical Center - RDMC
Posts: 87
Affiliation: RDMC/House Of Shaewe
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Post by Jena Shaewe on Apr 25, 2015 8:22:25 GMT -8
Jena had helped Adelle to the shower room that had numerous stalls lining the walls. Once there, Adelle had moved away from Jena and walked, under her own power, to one of the stalls. Jena turned and gave the med droid instructions to watch Adelle to make sure she didn't fall and to aid her if she needed it then left the room to give the young woman her privacy. Once outside Jena took out her datapad and began adding more info to Adelle's medical file while she waited for her to finish her shower.
After a few moments Jena sensed Adelle's emotions take hold of the young woman. Raising an eyebrow, Jena leaned a shoulder against the wall and folded her arms across her chest wanting to reach out to Adelle through the Force to help soothe her, but refrained from doing so. This was something that, for now, Adelle had to do on her own to begin the emotional side of the healing process. Jena would go to her if she asked, but for now she would leave Adelle alone to try and cleanse her soul just as the water from the shower cleansed her battered, but healing, body.
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A few days later....
Four days had passed since Adelle had been taken out of the bacta tank and still the young woman hadn't said a word and Jena was perplexed as to why. Scans had shown that there was no lasting brain trauma, and all of her wounds had healed well, though there would most likely be scarring on the deeper wounds but there was still the mystery of her not being able, or not wanting, to speak. Jena and Lyssa, both, had gone over her medical files again and again from the time she arrived at the RDMC until now and couldn't find a physical reason for Adelle's lack of speech. That left one possibility - her problem must lay in the psychological area. Whatever had happened to Adelle to bring her to he RDMC must have had a profound psychological affect on her thus effecting her ability to talk.
Now as Jena quietly observed her through the large glass window, she recognized a routine. Adelle would sometimes watch the holonet, or look out at the gardens on the grounds of the complex seemingly deep in thought, or just sit or lay silently on her bed. Even though she did manage to bathe and feed herself regularly, rarely did the young woman make a move to leave the room even though was she allowed to come and go as she pleased since Jena had technically released her medically. Jake had even tried to get her to speak to no avail. Adelle had seemingly been traumatized mentally and Jena was determined to find out why, even if she had to bring out the proverbial 'big guns' to do so....
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Adelle Bastiel
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Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
Posts: 338 
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on May 22, 2015 16:57:29 GMT -8
Twelve paces. Adelle turned and walked the length of the room. Fourteen. The ceiling hung about two feet over her head. Dimensions were roughly twelve by fourteen by seven. Behind the pale walls, she saw red. Red flames, red blood. She shook her head and tried to bring her mind back to the mathematical problem she'd posed to herself. Twelve multiplied by fourteen equaled one hundred sixty-eight. The Open Door blazed with light. People screamed as they found the doors had been locked. One hundred sixty-eight multiplied by seven equaled—The dancer, Rizala Ven found an unlocked door and ran through a chemical downpour. Adelle racked her brain. One hundred sixty-eight times seven. Her skin liquified. One hundred sixty-seven times eight. No. Not right. The skin melted right off layers of fat and muscle and plopped to the ground. One sixty . . . The body kneeled in front of her, lifeless eyes staring up at hers. Adelle stifled the scream lodged in her throat and turned away from the wall she'd been staring at. She knew Coruscant and its horrors were done with. She killed Sy, the "man" that kidnapped her in the first place. He'd blown his warehouse and fortress of traps up. All his inventions, all his plans, everything he'd ever made had been wiped from that planet. But there'd been others. She'd seen the files he kept, planets, accounts, names. Other people had known about his experiments. Had funded him. Supported him. Every door way could be a trap. Every person could be someone that could activate one of a number of bio-organic microchips embedded in her body. Even the staff here.
She stopped pacing the floor by the bed and looked out the large window at the gardens. Everything looked so green, so alive. It looked serene, to the point of plasticity. Adelle placed her hand on the glass, staring out at the blue sky and the birds. Her bare feet ached from walking around on cold tile floors and her skin had paled for lack of sunlight. The gardens beckoned, as they always did, but there were other patients out there. Strolling, sitting, healing. She shrank back from the window and slowly made her way to the bed. The blankets lay in a permanent twisted roll, undone only to be tangled up again later in the night. Adelle laid on her side and stared at the wall, trying not to see the red behind the white. Dr. Shaewe had mentioned an appointment later on in the day. She needed to be composed for it.
Or she'd just skip it. An appointment after being released meant questions. Questions meant memories. Her throat knotted itself tighter. No, she'd skip the appointment. She wasn't that important anyway.
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Jena Shaewe
Red Dawn Medical Center - RDMC
Posts: 87
Affiliation: RDMC/House Of Shaewe
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Post by Jena Shaewe on Jun 15, 2015 10:39:22 GMT -8
One day later...."See what I mean about her? I noticed the pattern a couple of days ago."Jena directed the question to the psychiatric doctor who had joined her a few moments before in observing Adelle. Nodding her head, the brunette pursed her lips as she watched the young woman go about her established routine in the room that had seemingly become her sanctuary since being released from the bacta tank."And she's done this since getting out of the bacta tank?"Jena folded her arms across her chest as she cast a glance over to the shrink. "More or less. Dr Ramaela and I noticed the pattern over the last few days of observation. Physically, she's healed....mentally, I'm not so sure, which is why I asked you for a consultation."Again, the other woman nodded her head in understanding as she placed a hand against the cool metal frame of the window while looking thoughtfully at Adelle through the glass."A set routine and she hasn't spoken since awakening...."This was said more to herself than to Jena, or anyone else. Her mind was working out the details of the information she had been given from Jena and Adelle's medical records on the datapad in her other hand. She had seen similar behavior in soldiers, other people, and yes even Force users who had been through traumatizing events. They tended to develop habits that they wouldn't normally have done prior to the harrowing event. Catching her lower lip between her teeth, she looked down at the datapad in her hand and read over the information again before raising her gaze to meet Jena's."She's also missed at least one follow up appointment which was yesterday afternoon, which is why I scheduled another one for today." Jena informed her as their eyes met."Well, she's not missing this one."The shrink said with a wink as she removed her hand from the window frame and placed it on the I.D. pad, the door swishing open a couple of seconds later. Stepping inside, she smiled warmly Adelle laying on the bed."Adelle...I'm Maia Starling, medical doctor, surgeon, psychiatrist and all around great listener. Your attending physicians have asked me to have a chat with you, if you don't mind...."Outside of the room still looking through the window, Jena chuckled as Maia listed her credentials for Adelle before signing softly. "I really hope you can work your head shrinking magic, chérie...." Jena muttered hopefully as she watched the scene unfold in the room.
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Adelle Bastiel
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Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
Posts: 338
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on Jul 16, 2015 16:02:06 GMT -8
Adelle started when she heard the door open. She sat up quickly, tensed at the edge of the bed. A woman entered, brown haired and shorter by a good few inches, and explained that she was, essentially a medical doctor and a shrink. Adelle felt her teeth clench tightly as her jaw set against the intruder. Psychiatrist. Someone to get in her head. Her nails dug into her palms hard enough to turn her knuckles white. Another person to mess around in her head. She'd let only one person in and that had been before Sy and his many mind-games. A lump swelled in her throat, harder than a rock. If the doctors of RDMC had sent Starling, that meant she wasn't coping and everyone could see it. Adelle resigned herself; if she couldn't cope, there was no way she was going to visit Morgan. That girl—her daughter—deserved better. She had to try. She had to go through with this.
"What—" Adelle cleared her throat. Words seemed harder than she remembered. They stuck and sputtered, her voice hoarse from misuse. "What do you want to know?"
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Maia Starling
Red Dawn Medical Center - RDMC
Posts: 3
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Post by Maia Starling on Aug 18, 2015 1:15:03 GMT -8
Maia arched a curious eyebrow at Adelle's sudden tensing but said nothing to the fact as she leaned against the wall and folded her arms across her chest while tilting her head a little to the side. The woman's reaction wasn't anything new, in Maia's experience. Many patients had the same reaction upon learning she was a psychiatrist. She took mental note of Adelle's body language, quietly assessing the woman's demeanor. She took no physical notes, she hardly ever did when first engaging a patient. She'd much rather get a feel for a patients mindset by just listening and watching rather than having her nose stuck down to the screen of a datapad taking notes. That, and she had an uncanny knack for remembering conversations - what people said to her and what she said to them.
Now as she stood there gauging Adelle's actions, the seconds stretching to minutes, Maia knew two things for certain bout the woman before her. One, was that the woman had been through more than most of the patients Maia usually dealt with. Two, was that Adelle seemingly didn't want to talk about her ordeal but would anyway - if for no other reason than to get Maia to leave and not bother her anymore. Hardly anyone liked shrinks. Maia, herself, barely tolerated half of the ones she knew.
The silence was then broken by Adelle's rasped tone.
Casually looking Adelle up and down, getting a feel for her state of mind at the moment, Maia met her gaze with a warm smile. "Whatever you feel like telling me, Adelle. I'm here to listen for as long as you need or want me to...and to help if you'll allow it."
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2015 7:30:37 GMT -8
She hadn't been back long, and--already--the powers-that-be were sending her to the bacta rooms to help Jena Shaewe with her patient. From what little they told her, she understood that the patient, a one Adelle Bastiel, had been through some serious trauma, up to and including Devaronian blood poisoning. The trauma had been serious enough, in fact, for the patient to be put into a medically induced coma in order to better facilitate her healing. They also told her that she'd woken up since then, with severe PTSD, and wasn't talking. Maia Starling was there already, tying to get the human woman to open up. Her own role in the situation was still unclear, but she wouldn't hesitate to offer whatever help she could.
More than her job description, Vinaara Ja knew a thing or two about such mind-scapes. She knew how costly such overwhelming terror could be, just like she knew about the aimless shame and rage that often accompanied it. She knew how hard and how desperately vital it was to show the world that she was okay, when--in reality--she was crumbling where she stood; and she also knew that such efforts never paid off. The rest of the world could always see through the charade, and that only made it even more shameful and infuriating... Then, just like clockwork, images of her parents flashed through her mind, and the shade of her own overwhelming terror raised its ugly head within her. But she fought it back; and likewise, the togrutan would do whatever she could show this Adelle Bastiel that she could do the same.
Thus, she finally arrived to see Shaewe standing outside of the patient's room, in observance of Starling's work. "I'm here," she offered quietly, by way of greeting, as she fell in alongside the woman. "Have there been any more significant changes?"
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Jena Shaewe
Red Dawn Medical Center - RDMC
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Post by Jena Shaewe on Sept 4, 2015 1:37:34 GMT -8
Jena watched through the smooth transparent glass of the window, catching her lower lip between her teeth, as Maia walked into the room. At first Adelle tensed up when Maia entered and Jena honestly thought the psychiatrist would get nowhere with the woman. After a few moments, and much to Jena's surprise though, Maia did get Adelle to respond with actual words instead of the usual grunts and subtle gestures Adelle had been using over the past few days. Arching an eyebrow, Jena brought a hand up and rested her forefinger against her lips while Maia spoke to Adelle. While Adelle hadn't responded to Maia's offer to listen as of yet, Jena saw that even getting her to say those few words that she had said as a major breakthrough.
A few moments after Dr. Starling had entered Adelle's room, Jena was joined on the outside by Vinaara Ja, a Togrutan psychiatrist/therapist that Ali had hired a few months ago. When Vinaara spoke Jena glanced over to her with a slight smile. "Hi...and yes. Maia got her to actually talk. So far its just been Adelle asking a single question, six words, but that's more than she's said since waking up from the coma." Jena looked back into the room with a thoughtful expression etched on her face before turning to face Vinaara once more.
"What we need you to do, if you will, is help study her movements, speech, her habits etcetera.. We know she's suffering from PTSD, we just don't know how deeply rooted it is yet. She's been through a lot of traumatizing shit, and whoever did the physical damage also did number on her mind as well. I'd like you and Maia to work together and see if you guys can get to the bottom of her mental trauma." Jena gazed back through the window hoping that, for Adelle's sake, having two shrinks on the job was better than just one. The young woman's life could very well depend on it. If she couldn't cope with her PTSD in the hospital Jena hated to think what could happen when she left.
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Adelle Bastiel
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Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
Posts: 338
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on Sept 4, 2015 16:19:18 GMT -8
"I . . ." The sound came out has barely more than a whisper. She swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat that had settled in when she first awoke. It did nothing to the lump, only increased the tight feeling in her throat. The thought of explaining that, and what she'd been through—living through those memories again—it was more than she could bear. Adelle clenched her fists and looked away from the shrink.
"I can't," she said. But the silence remained unbroken. Adelle blinked, her hand flying to her throat. Her muscles tensed again, making her hands shake. She tried to clear her throat, tried to cough, swallow, something, anything to speak. Nothing. The shrink was standing right in front of her and was watching all of this. Adelle's eyes burned as she ground her teeth. With every failed attempt, a single thought slammed into her head: Broken. Kriffed up. Damaged. Beyond repair. The doctors couldn't fix her. The psychiatrist couldn't help her. Adelle turned away from Starling and wrapped her arms around herself, as if to control the violent shaking. She was beyond helping. Krayt had done his job. He'd broken her. Now she was a weapon and a damaged human being, unfit for human company. All she wanted right now was solitude. Even if it meant seeing blood behind everything. At least by herself, she could be honest about how broken she was.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2015 19:42:31 GMT -8
Vinaara Ja nodded, "Understood. Though, for today... I'll observe the patient out here, she looks spooked enough as it is without another, new face intruding. Especially since Maia is doing so well on her own."
After all, she didn't need her shrewd eyes to see how close the human was to crawling out of her skin from anxiety. Indeed, it was a testament to the woman's strength that she hadn't already suffered a melt-down. They'd need to tread carefully, Maia and she, if they were going to make continued progress. So, after this initial evaluation--and based on the subsequent results--she hoped that they could figure out a kind of tag-team therapy session to enact together...
Meanwhile, she settled into her own initial evaluation.
Beyond what she'd already told Shaewe, there wasn't much else to see. The patient was currently struggling to answer Maia's question, torn as she was between her trauma and the reason she hadn't yet lost it. Her skin was ashen, she was hunched in on herself, her eyes were wide and vacant, every muscle in her body was tensed--she was the textbook definition of PTSD. Thus, in her mind, it was less a question of 'how deep' the trauma went, as it was a question of how to kick-start the patient's coping mechanisms.
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Maia Starling
Red Dawn Medical Center - RDMC
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Post by Maia Starling on Sept 9, 2015 1:59:10 GMT -8
Maia took mental note of Adelle's whispered response and her physical reaction. Adelle's actions were that of someone that had been broken by their trauma and it would take time to heal her shattered mind, much like putting the pieces of a puzzle together. Pursing her lips, Maia tilted her head to the side a little and observed Adelle for a moment longer before speaking softly.
"That's fine, Adelle. These things take time. Just know that one of us will be here to help you through it when you're ready." She glanced over to the window, seeing Jena and Vinaara before smiling back at the young woman. "For now, I'll leave my comm frequency so you can call me if you need anything, anything at all." She took a small datacard, with the numbers on it, out of the pocket of her lab coat and laid it on the small desk in the corner then turned and quietly left the room.
After letting the door swish closed behind her, she turned to Jena and Vinaara, nodding a greeting to the Togrutan doctor. "Well...." She began as she folded her arms across her chest and glanced through the window at Adelle's form lying on the bed before looking back to her colleagues. "At least she's talking, even if it's not about her ordeal. She's still making progress just by doing that. Now we just have to be patient with her and give her the time she needs to cope with the things that were done to her. I'd like to think that eventually she'll tell us about what happened.....but quite honestly, I don't think that's going to happen until she can come to terms with it in her own mind first. Maybe she's already begun to do so and just isn't ready to put a voice to it yet. I honestly don't know."
Maia sighed, running a hand through her dark hair as she once again looked back into the room. Adelle was not making this easy, not that the doctors actually expected her to, but they could plainly see the effect of the events that had led up to her being at the RDMC in the first place were taking their toll on the young woman. Maia just hoped that either she or Vinaara, or someone, could get through to Adelle before it was too late....
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2015 18:16:12 GMT -8
"I have an idea that might help encourage that process," Vinaara Ja offered on the heels of Starling's observation.
She gestured for the two human females to walk with her while she explained herself, "Between us, there are two major types of therapy we can attempt... well, three, if you would like to help us Shaewe." She paused to grin, "The first two, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Processing Therapy, are very closely related. They both involve retraining the patient's mind to cope with whatever trauma the patient has suffered--through education, through one-on-one sessions, through positive reinforcement and reward, and/or through tailoring some 'real-world' circumstances around the patient's anxieties... within reason, of course... and the latter is where you could help, Shaewe, if you'd like."
Again, she paused--this time for a breath--before continuing to explain, "The last method is still pretty similar to the first two, but its a little more specialized. It involves making the patient 'relive' his/her trauma safely, either by engaging in activities that the patient avoids or by asking the patient to describe the trauma, record it, and listen to the recording in between sessions." Here, she shook her head before adding, "Though, after seeing how anxious our patient is, and bearing in mind that she can't even talk yet, it might be prudent for us to wait to use this last method until she's further along in her therapy... Thoughts?"
She fell silent then, and sighed to catch her breath after such a long monologue.
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Maia Starling
Red Dawn Medical Center - RDMC
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Post by Maia Starling on Oct 1, 2015 1:48:01 GMT -8
Maia followed Vinaara listening to the Togrutan explain her idea about the therapies she had in mind to try for Adelle and nodded her head in agreement while meeting the other woman's gaze. She had heard of the therapies before and had even used similar versions of them a few times in her career with some positive outcomes. Folding her arms across her chest, she considered the possibilities before finally speaking.
"I agree that the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Processing Therapy could be beneficial to getting her to open up and we could probably start the behavioral therapy in a day or two to see how she responds. If it's a positive response then we could possibly begin the processing therapy in a week or two. I also agree that the last one may be better suited for when she's farther along in the first two therapies." She paused her speech for a moment as she halted her stride in the middle of the hallway. Pursing her lips, and with a thoughtful look on her face, she briefly glanced back down the hallway toward Adelle's room. Turning, she fully faced Jena and Vinaara. "Though I think our first step should be getting her to trust us more, to let her know she's not alone in this and that we're right here with her every step of the way."
Maia knew gaining Adelle's trust wouldn't be an easy task, given the physical and mental trauma the young woman had endured, but she was quite certain they were all up for the challenge - they had to be if there was any hope of getting Adelle on the track to any kind of mental recovery.
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Jena Shaewe
Red Dawn Medical Center - RDMC
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Post by Jena Shaewe on Oct 3, 2015 9:18:41 GMT -8
Jena, with her hands in the pockets of her white lab coat, walked along beside Vinaara and Maia contemplating their ideas and input. Stopping when Maia stopped, she tilted her head a little to the side and faced her colleagues.
"Agreed. We need to gain her trust. We won't get anywhere if she doesn't trust us. That aside, I do like your suggestions for treatment, Vinaara. I'll help wherever and whenever I can....but with my heavy patient load, I'll leave the main bulk of the mental therapies up to both of you since you two have more experience in that field. Lyssa and I will continue to handle her physical well being."
Before Jena could say anything else a voice came over the hospitals P.A. system calling her away to aid another doctor on a patient consultation. Politely excusing herself, she turned and walked down the hallway. Stepping into the turbolift, she vanished from their sight when the doors closed and the lift began moving to carry her to her next patient.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 7, 2015 6:33:34 GMT -8
"Agreed," Vinaara Ja chimed in, satisfied with their plan. "I feel that a rotating schedule would serve us best, Maia. That way, she gets to know both of our faces. Then, we can compare notes as often as you like."
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Another day, new challenges.
It was Vinaara Ja's turn to introduce herself to Adelle Bastiel, and the Togrutan was feeling a little anxious about it, to be honest. She'd only worked with PTSD a couple of times; and, in both cases, she hadn't been able to finish treatment because her patients had been transferred out of her care, and into more advanced facilities. Life as a medic aboard a ship was full of frustrating scenarios such as that. But THIS scenario would be different. She'd be able to see the treatment from start to finish, and Maia and she would be using her recommended treatment regimen. As excited as she was, she also was aware of how important success was--both for the client, first of all, and for herself.
So, to that end, Vinaara Ja decided that today would be all about trying to get Adelle Bastiel to let go of some of that anxiety she'd seen during her first observation.
She was nearing the patient's room now, carrying two mugs of caf for the both of them, along with a few, general fixings in case Bastiel liked hers fancy. Considering how early it was, she figured the caffa would be a good peace offering, as well as a timely one, and she could only hope that it would help the patent feel less like a patient.
Once at Bastiel's room, it took some careful readjustment to get into the room without burning herself, whereupon she approached Adelle with a smile. "Morning," she announced herself, "I'm the other doctor that will be working with you. My name is Vinaara Ja, and I've brought some caf for the both of us." She made sure her voice was soft and that her tone was light and upbeat, and--most importantly--casual. She set the caf down on Adelle's bedside table, along with the bag of fixings, and moved away to find her own seat.
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Adelle Bastiel
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Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on Nov 15, 2015 20:30:28 GMT -8
Adelle jumped when the door hissed open but gradually she was getting used to sounds again. A Togrutan walked in with a tray of two steaming cups, full of bitter earthiness, a small bag in between. She raised an eyebrow at the doctor's introduction. Maia Starling had said she would be working with Adelle... hadn't she? They couldn't be assigning her two doctors; she wasn't a nutcase, she just was having a little trouble. Blood started pouring from Ja's eyes. Adelle blinked and it was gone. Okay, maybe she was having more than a little trouble. She sat at the edge of the bed, staring at the caf on the table. Her shoulders hunched forward, she glanced over at Ja as the woman sat down in a chair across from her. The smile and light-hearted tone grated on her nerves but she wasn't sure why. Adelle ground her teeth, her fists clenching of their own accord.
"Why two doctors?" she asked hoarsely. "I'm not . . . Not that . . ." Not that broken. ". . . that bad, am I?"
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2015 8:54:20 GMT -8
Watching her patient's fists clench, Vinaara Ja shook her head at the woman's question, "Not at all," she assured her, dropping some of the overt friendliness from her tone. Instead, she shifted to her "doctor voice", which relied more on simple, educational exchange rather than on amiability, "Dr. Starling and I just thought that your seeing both of us would be good for your recovery. I'm just here to listen, to answer questions, and to guide you through this process at a pace you're comfortable with," she held up a hand, open palm facing forwards as a sign of compliance, and continued, "But, if you'd prefer, I can step back and let you continue seeing Dr. Starling exclusively."
She would be a little sad, of course, to let Starling take over; but Adelle's trust was too important at this early stage of her therapy for Vinaara Ja's occupational eagerness to interfere.
Maybe the caf had been too much. After all, things in an actual medical institution were so vastly different from a med bay on board a traveling ship. Here, patient expected their doctors to comply with the professional atmosphere. On a ship, things were--perforce--more casual. This Adelle Bastiel didn't know her. She didn't have to spend days--if not months--with her on a ship, while they traversed from one planet to another.
"I'm sorry if I came on a little strong," she added after a pause, taking some inspiration form her train of thought, "I'm just more accustomed to being on a ship than in a place like this. And, despite being a doctor myself, med-centers still give me the heebie-jeebies."
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Adelle Bastiel
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Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on Nov 16, 2015 10:31:30 GMT -8
A harsh bark that was meant to be a laugh escaped Adelle's mouth. "So I'm not the only one."
She forced herself to relax, smoothing her palms over her pants. Ja was here to help, same as Starling. They could take an objective look and see what was best for her then implement it. And despite her Jedi training, Adelle felt under the control of her emotions. Screams echoed in her ears and she shuddered. She could smell blood but at the same time, she smelled caf. She was here, in the RDMC, and not on Coruscant. Adelle took a cup and drank a little of the scalding liquid. It brought tears to her eyes and numbed her tongue, but the screams vanished and all she smelled was caf. Ja and Starling wanted her to trust them, she knew. That was part of the healing process. And if she trusted them, they could help her better. The caf was an offer: Let us help you. She would have to trust them.
Especially if she wanted to see Morgan again.
"I'm . . . sorry," she said quietly, staring at her mug and the black caf inside. She still struggled with words but at least, in her ears, she didn't sound as hoarse as before. "It's hard. To . . ." She searched for the right words, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. "I can't . . . talk about it. Everything just . . . closes."
The heat of the mug burned her hands. It hurt but it brought clarity. Reality. Her world was here. Her mind was present. "I want to trust you. I want to be better. But." She drew a deep breath, trying to venture closer to the subject. "There's . . . I mean, I can't know if— Who else is—"
In her head she saw the list of names, numbers, addresses, locations. Items being sent to one place, reports to another, money being received. It wasn't just Krayt or Sy or whoever he really was. Other people had been involved: investors, inventors, manufacturers. None that stood out as a leader. But none that stood out as benign. Who was she to these people? Had she been just another number to them or was she an important . . . investment to them? Would they try to find her, imprison her in that suit again? Adelle clenched her teeth, gripping her mug tightly.
"There are others." Her voice was soft. "And I don't know what they want with me."
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2015 12:21:56 GMT -8
It was good to see the glimmer of joy escape out of Adelle, even if it was immediately swallowed again by the trauma that haunted this human female like a starving akul. She listened closely while the woman described her difficulties, and these "others" who seemed to haunt her just as badly as the trauma did--and, all the while, she clung to her caf as if it were the only thing keeping her there. And maybe it was. While Adelle spoke, she quietly fished out the small data-pad that had been nestled into one of her pockets. Her fingers were a silent blur as she quickly typed in a few important details about what she's observed so far, but nothing too lengthy. She'd fill the report in more thoroughly in her office, preferring to give most of her attention to her patient.
Calmly, she waited for Adelle to finish. The woman needed to know that she wouldn't be rushed or cut off. Afterwards, Vinaara Ja's tone was carefully neutral as she replied, "Trust takes time, Adelle... In the meantime, I'm here. Just the same as Dr. Starling... So, one step at a time." She paused with another smile, giving her words a few minutes to sink in, before continuing, "For now, we'll just focus on education: Firstly, you need to know that you are not going crazy. Instead, you've survived some significant trauma, which has an understandable, and marked impact on your life. You are suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD." The educational phase of the treatment was always a challenge for her, because it (necessarily) assumed the patient knew nothing. Nevertheless, it bore explaining, "The symptoms of this disorder fall into three clusters... The first cluster consists of re-experiencing the event in some way. Be they nightmares about the event, flashbacks, or intrusive thoughts--all of them are normal responses to trauma and all of them can be resolved, given some time and plenty of patience."
She paused again after her lengthy monologue, to make sure her patient was still awake. "Now, can you give me some examples of these experiences in your own life, since the event took place?"
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Adelle Bastiel
Member
Right or wrong? I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell.
Posts: 338
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Post by Adelle Bastiel on Nov 16, 2015 14:43:53 GMT -8
Adelle nodded, her throat squeezing tighter and tighter together. It took a couple of false starts before she managed to squeak something out. "Every night. Every day. I see. I hear. I-I . . . They— Their . . ."
It was all her fault. Rizala Ven. Rishii. Arnelos It'kla. Her mother. They died because of her. Her hands shook but she couldn't see that. She saw every face torn before her eyes, stripped by acid, pulled apart by explosions, consumed by red-winged beetles. Adelle flung the caf at the wall to her left with a silent cry and cradled her head, sobbing without a sound. It was all her fault. Arnelos had said as much. "You shouldn't have come back." Now he was gone. Him and anyone else she'd ever so much as talked to. She felt every life snuffed out as if they had died yesterday.
"My fault." The whispered words came rushed between cracked and voiceless sobs. "'S'all my fault."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2015 19:16:51 GMT -8
"Breath, Adelle," Vinaara Ja told her patient in a calm, authoritative voice, "In... out... Refocus on me."
She was sitting on the edge of her seat, now, and she reached forward--carefully--to touch one of Adelle's knees. "Use my touch as an anchor. You are in your suite," she encouraged the human, "and you are safe." She fell silent for a few beats, allowing Adelle to slow down and regain some composure. "You need to tell me why you feel so guilty. Don't give me any of the details about the event itself. Not now. Just talk around it, and take me through why you feel the way you do... and, while you tell me, focus on your breathing. Remember: in and out. Slowly. Evenly."
As she waited for Adelle to respond, she started rubbing little, soothing circle's on Adelle's knee. Strictly speaking, physical touch was discouraged for fear of being attacked, but Vinaara Ja had often found that touch could be the very thing that made these initial stages of recovery possible.
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