It was too good to be true. That was the first red flag.
Pricila Gho is one hot piece of sheb'ike, and she knows it. I'd been trying to get her into bed (haran, shi solus) for a year now, a nayc jate'kara. When she sauntered up to me while I was tinkering with ner ba'vodu speeder, looking fine as haran and asking if we could go somewhere private, I tried not to let my mouth hit the ground. After the initial "Osik, I'm getting with this.", I immediately became suspicious. Like I said, this was a little too good to be true. Not because I have a problem getting girls, but because Pricila is a stuck-up nemodian who thinks she's better than anyone else on the planet.
Ba'vodu warned me to be careful. Said a few times women tried to seduce him only to get him alone for bad reasons. Theft was one. Giving opportunity for someone else to assault or kill him was another. I had it happen to me once, just a few months ago. It wasn't anything terrible. Woman tried to steal some creds off me. She was older, probably thought I was a di'kut for being sixteen. She wasn't from around here, so she didn't know my reputation. Probably thought she could catch me by surprise. She nearly did. If I hadn't been trained so well, she probably would have. Her face got all red when I restrained her on the floor, saying "Well osik, cyar'ika, if you needed the money, I could've paid you for your services." I laughed my sheb'ike off while she screamed insults at me, tying her hands nice and tight behind her back before throwing her out of the seedy room I'd paid for. She didn't dare go to security, would have made her look stupid.
It took me only a second to figure out why Pricila was enticing me. My grin became a little goofier as I agreed and asked her what she had in mind. She probably thought it was because I thought I was going to get laid. It actually was because I knew she must be in league with Ge'tal Kulsso. He was one of those hulk types, believing himself invincible just because he was big , strong and wore beskar'gram. He is also stupid as osik, which is why it had to be his idea to send Pricila to me. Anyone with half a brain would have sent someone more believable. You may be asking why I was so happy to know that G'e'tel was gunning for me. Being the ori di'kut he is, he decided it would be really fun to break my ba'vodu speeder while I parked it in town. Why? Who knows. Because it makes him look like a tough guy? As I said, this guy isn't too bright. You would think if you were going to goof around and try being macho, you'd mess with someone who couldn't dish out retribution, or someone you could beat down if they tried. You don't mess with Drakon V'Hett's speeder, and you don't mess with me.
I wanted to put a beating on him right away, but my mother stopped me, said Drakon could handle it. So he did. He pulled me aside and asked, "Does Ge'tal have a girlfriend?" I said he has riduur. He chuckled and said, "'lek, this is an easy one." He told me to sleep with his wife and make sure word got around. Ge'tal would come after me and then I could "defend" myself. Buir couldn't blame me then, could she? Kriffing so I could fight, my two favorite things. I love ner ba'vodu.
It was easy to seduce Tatia Kulsso. She's a little too plain for my personal tastes, but I wouldn't turn her down, even if I didn't have an issue with Ge'tal. With my wit, charm and good looks (I am infinitely better looking and more fun than Ge'tal, ask anyone I've been with), she was in bed with me in no time. I treated her nice, it wasn't her fault Ge'tal is shabuir. Well, 'lek, that's not true...I kriffed her brains out, made her feel really really good, and left her an incoherent mess. Not because I didn't want her to get hurt, but because I wanted her next time with Ge'tel to be osik. Plus, even though I have a reputation, it couldn't hurt to give it a boost. Ge'tal would find out, after all, from one of her friends because Tatia would tell them how great I am. That piece of gossip, combined with kicking Ge'tal sheb'ike, would definitely get me laid for a good long while.
Pricila said she wanted to take me to that seedy little lodge in town. With the stupid grin on my face I agreed and told her I needed to grab some creds first. I left her waiting outside while I ran in, grabbing and hiding a few small null gas grenades and a shock stick on my person, leaving my blaster visible. Both the grenades and stick I prepared in advance for such an occasion. As we approached the lodge, I noticed a few of our mutual friends loitering around outside. Again, stupid. A dead giveaway that something was going down. It worked in my favor though, since most of them were women around my age, no doubt wanting to see the show. It was easy to keep the smile on my face.
I let Pricila enter before me, waiting a few seconds before positioning myself to the left side of the entrance and rolling in the first grenade. I waited a few seconds more, then rolled in the second. I pulled out the shock stick, set it to a painful, but not lethal, setting and was about to roll in the third when Pricila and Ge'tal both stumbled out, gasping for breath. I immediately bore down on Ge'tal as he fell to his knees outside and pulled off his helm in attempt to breath. Shocked him good and hard in the back of the neck until he collapsed unconscious. Pricila was also on her knees, still trying to get her breath. The tsad watching gasped and groaned behind us, but no one stepped in to intervene. No one wanted a taste of what I was dishing out.
With a whistle I kicked Ge'tal's helmet a few hundred yards, turned off the stick and straddled the di'kut chest. Still whisling, I lightly slapped his face to get him to come to. It took almost a minute, but he finally did. His eyes were hardly open before I landed a heavy, solid punch to his face. His nose broke, blood spraying everywhere as he was instantly knocked out yet again. I stood with a smile and spat on his face, throwing a wink to the onlookers with a mock salute with my bloody hand as I strode over to Pricila. I grinned down at her with my arms crossed.
"Why don't you go get me that helmet, mesh'la?"
She caught her breath now, glaring up at me. There was mild disdain in her face, but mostly surprise and, strangely enough, respect. Without a word, she stood and shakily made her way to the helmet. I was already on Ge'tal's speederbike with the engine ready (the di'kut left the keys in) when she retrieved it to me. With the same stupid grin, I motioned behind me with a nod of my head. "I know a better place to krif, olaror." She sat down behind me and embraced my waist without a single word, holding on tightly to Ge'tal's helm.
I had a great time that night, but made sure she didn't. She needed to learn, just as Ge'tal had: Don V'Hett vaabir nayc hiibir osik. I never had any problems with anyone after that. And yes, if you must know...I was well taken care of for the next two months.