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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 21, 2013 8:06:25 GMT -8
You saw it coming. Unfortunately, you only saw it coming a split second ahead of time, in a manner consistent with Spider-Sense. Since you don't have the reflexes to make good on such a sense, it doesn't really help you much.
I wish I was the world's most famous movie star.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 15, 2013 12:45:12 GMT -8
You get the same healing factor, complete with forever-young immortality. Of course, this makes you subject to the immutable law that faces all humanoid immortals: namely, that the longer you live, the more likely it is that you will eventually be trapped forever with no possibility of escape. Since on an immortal's timeline this probability eventually approaches 100%, well...enjoy your collapsed mineshaft or live burial via avalanche, sucker.
I wish I had the ability to UN-corrupt corrupted wishes.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 15, 2013 12:19:31 GMT -8
You are now invincible. Nothing can hurt you, and I mean literally nothing, not even old age. No blow can ever harm you, or cause you pain...or pleasure. Or even sensation. You will spend the rest of your limitless existence in a grey fog of tactile nothingness, unable to feel even the slightest touch.
I wish for delicious cupcakes.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 14, 2013 18:44:15 GMT -8
The Healer pursed his mouth disapprovingly for just a moment later. Then he sighed and stepped aside, tapping on the datapad. "I've already told you I cannot stop you," he said. "The guard will maintain a safe distance. Unless things go south, she won't even know she's being monitored. I'll look after Miss Calmcacil." Na'an's file had been returned to the foreground of the datapad when it was placed in Lady Bastiel's open hand. "Tread carefully. Her injuries aren't as fresh as yours."
There was now nothing between the two women but open air. As if on cue, Na'an's eye snapped open, watching the Jedi who had been ushered away from her return with an expression that was almost wistful. "I'm betting the Healer saw my file," she said. "Am I in trouble?"
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 12, 2013 16:59:55 GMT -8
Granted. It's Skynet.
I wish to lose about thirty pounds.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 12, 2013 16:37:21 GMT -8
The old Healer reacted as if the woman had slapped him; he drew his hand back, abashed, then his expression grew as stern and unforgiving as hers. "Lady Bastiel," he said in a clipped voice, "Pardon me if I remind you that you have a child with you, and that my duty is to the other patients in this facility as well as Miss Na'an." He proffered her the datapad, highlighting several of the more troubling passages. "I'm not denying her therapy, I'm protecting both her and others from whatever episode brought her and that thing here...and with the body count listed here, you wouldn't blame me either."
That was a slight exaggeration, as that count belonged to the droid more than the human...but the passages highlighted about the mental history of its owner were not any more comforting. History of consorting with Sith practitioners. Traumatic emotional disconnect. Unexplained signs of violent Force-wielding episodes... Quite a damning list for someone as young as the slight girl on the table behind him.
"I cannot stop you," he concluded, "but the child stays away."
Behind them, Vidalu Na'an closed her eye and nodded. "We'll have to expect that sort of reaction from now on, you know," she said quietly, as much to the droid she was leaning on as to herself. She couldn't hear everything the two Jedi were saying to each other...but she'd seen the look on Healer Hamee's face, and how he'd ushered the soft woman and her child away as soon as they'd come. She didn't need to hear to know.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 12, 2013 7:20:35 GMT -8
Granted, but the reason is not what you think. It's because the avatars meow when you click them, and the effect is so damn cute people now spend all their time clicking the avatar rather than posting. With their proliferation, JvS becomes a virtual ghost town forever.
I wish for pandas. Not rabid or killer pandas, just the cute cuddly kind.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 12, 2013 7:12:32 GMT -8
Healer Dax followed them to the examination table, still reading the datapad intently with one hand and pushing the pair gently with the other. "No indecency intended, I assure you. It's just that..." He shot a nervous glance at the girl and droid still behind them. The droid had not moved much since arrival, other than to give its master's name. The girl had turned to watch them go; the large grey eye fixed on him was deceptively mild. "That patient is not one I would allow around children. Her and her droid have a...record...of violent instability. According to her file she's not even supposed to have left Yavin Station. I don't know how or why she's here, and in your condition..." The Healer put a gentle hand on Adelle's shoulder, and smiled gently at both her and Morgan. "She's not designated as an enemy, but she needs to be contained, and by more healthy Jedi. I've called a guard for her."
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 11, 2013 19:18:07 GMT -8
You have all the peach tea. Regrettably, it's all made with salt water and is horribly disgusting. You get sick after the first bottle.
I wish for more episodes of Game of Thrones.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 11, 2013 18:35:14 GMT -8
Done. Every square inch of this planet is now wifi accessible. The worlds people become increasingly dependent on the airborne bandwidth, which many don't know is limited and rapidly running out. We hit our cap within three years, after which all wireless communication becomes impossible due to the Internet being entirely taken up by cat pictures. World society crumbles within days.
I wish for an increase in Kalosis' imagination.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 11, 2013 17:30:02 GMT -8
You don't. This is because as punishment for cheating at Corrupt A Wish, you no longer have a head.
I WISH MY LITTLE PONY WAS REAL. DEAL WITH IT.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 11, 2013 17:21:51 GMT -8
The Leafs are the new Stanley Cup champions. Unfortunately, the fact that a bunch of actual plant clippings, some of them really quite withered from lack of water, can win a championship end up discrediting the sport entirely. This will be the last Stanley Cup. Their victory has destroyed hockey forever.
I wish My Little Pony was real.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 10, 2013 12:23:49 GMT -8
And it turns out we have! Unfortunately, as they seem no farther advanced than the average cricket it's a rather boring encounter at first. The scientists who make contact bring a small colony of them home for study. They flourish in our atmosphere, and breed quickly and profusely. It is at this point that we find out that the larval version of this alien race is both highly intelligent, and voraciously cannibalistic. The human race is subjugated within days, and developed into a farmed-meat species for our evil Meat-Cricket masters.
I wish I had a lightsaber that worked exactly the way they are depicted in the Star Wars films.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 10, 2013 11:32:51 GMT -8
Na'an's hand flew up reflexively at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, covering the scarred hole, but dropped when she saw its source. The approaching woman was in bad shape--resting heavily on crutches, she bore the deep-mottled bruises and fresh bandaging of someone currently recovering from multiple serious wounds. The child all but clinging to her side was watching her with a combination of adoration and naked worry, and when the Jedi stopped she all but toppled where she stood. In fact, with the exception of having both eyes, she looked eerily similar to how she had after Tattooine. She even had the braid that Na'an had favored for so long, back in the years of her wandering. The difference was in her face. This woman was...well, the best word for it was soft. As the woman bent over, peering from one ravaged body to another, there was no paranoia or anger written on her features. As drawn and pained as they were, there was only a mild, unlined mouth, and open eyes, and only curiosity in her expression. This was the face a Jedi should wear in the face of hardship, Na'an thought absurdly. This was who I should have been.
"I'm not lying," she found herself saying. "And I'm not dodging responsibility. I'm just not proud of the details." Even to herself the words sounded pathetic. She leaned into the droid behind her, feeling steadier with her back against the smooth metal surface.
The returning Healer seemed to agree. "I wouldn't be either, if I were you," he said absentmindedly, scrolling through a series of files. "With the history listed for you two--" He started at the information he was looking at the screen, but quickly hid his alarm. " "Lady Bastiel, you should come with me. The child too." He gestured toward the table where the woman had originally been.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 10, 2013 10:38:35 GMT -8
They do. Unfortunately, a single Power Ranger (from any series) is pretty much worthless on its own, especially when you realize that your wish does not include the awesome space robots they fight/fight with. Bereft of other options, you attempt to siphon your new...abilities?...into forming groups with other superheroes. You are laughed out of the Teen Titans, the Superfriends, and the Justice League, and on your way to make contact with the next group, you are blown up by the Joker out of offense that you're more ridiculous than he is.
I wish Britney Spears was still relevant to pop culture somehow.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 9, 2013 19:01:59 GMT -8
You can now absorb the unabsorbable. Of course, this involves turning you into the only being on earth capable of doing so--a horror creature from one of the great classic horror-camp films. Have fun being the Blob, sucka.
I wish I was a Disney Princess.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 7, 2013 17:03:20 GMT -8
Done. You are now Stephenie Meyer.
I wish I was a super genius.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 7, 2013 16:42:11 GMT -8
You become a tiger. More specifically, you become Tony the Tiger. You spend the rest of your days shilling sugary cereal and fending off accusations of steroid abuse.
I wish the next person to post was madly in love with me.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 5, 2013 18:45:53 GMT -8
Your creativity is returned to you. However, creativity comes at a price--when writing or drawing, you start having horrifying eldritch visions of a place filled with tentacles and built using non-Euclidean geometry. As you continue creating, your new work takes on a terrifying unconscious life of its own; you stop having control over what you create, and eventually become a mere vessel for the formation of dark idols. Eventually, the funneling of your creative energy is recognized for what it is: a harbinger of the dark kingdom of R'lyeh, and the awakening of the Great Old Ones.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
I wish I could keep corrupting people's wishes forever.
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Post by Vidalu Na'an on May 5, 2013 15:44:01 GMT -8
You fail to specify HOW cool. Thus, the entity that grants your wish converts you into a living heat sink, with a body temperature perpetually resting at several degrees above absolute zero. No living being can be within a yard of you without freezing solid. You are unable to bathe without the water turning to ice. All your food is encased in a glacier of frozen air, and drinking anything other than liquid helium is completely impossible. You die from helium poisoning during your third attempt--ice cold, high-pitched, dehydrated, smelly and absolutely alone.
I wish for an uncorruptable wish.
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