Eremiel
Member
Posts: 36 
Affiliation: Jedi Council
Traffic Light: Green
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Post by Eremiel on Nov 26, 2013 3:51:42 GMT -8
*Silence with occasional sound of melting wax and spitting*
Trips into a hole laden with spikes ready to impale your face, just your face.
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Atton Kaelan
Crew of the Wayward Son
You're not allowed to name the star destroyer after your junk, Adi.
Posts: 265
Traffic Light: Green
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Post by Atton Kaelan on Nov 26, 2013 11:36:16 GMT -8
"Eh I was ugly as sin anyway."
You're a single Goomba and Mario is heading your way...
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Panno
The First Order
Posts: 365
Affiliation: Imperial Knights
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Post by Panno on Nov 26, 2013 13:30:15 GMT -8
Getting real tired of your shit Bowser.
You have successfully extradited a unpopular leader of a dictatorship. Before leaving the city you are told to work with him, you go in one vehicle he another. You are gagged bound, and your head covered. You are walked out of the vehicle and shot by your estfriend who was working with the political prisoner. You have a thick skull and you say_____
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Lord Sinistra
Retired High Councilor 
VE Human Capital Management & Talent Acquisition
Posts: 1,474 
Affiliation: The Vegemite Enclave
Traffic Light: Green
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Post by Lord Sinistra on Dec 5, 2013 11:30:50 GMT -8
"Shoot me for a good personal reason, like I banged your husband. Which I did."
It's Black Friday and the clerk just handed you the last Xbone left in North America in a sea of people who were lied to about the inventory.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2013 11:42:22 GMT -8
"Fuck it, I'd rather have the PS4 anyway."
As it turns out, those were the droids you were looking for. After the Death Star was destroyed, you will be made an example of. The exact details are a little unclear, but they seem to involve a blaster and an airlock.
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The Major
Member
Also known as Sailor Titan
Posts: 5,959
Affiliation: Fallanassi
Traffic Light: Blue
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Post by The Major on Dec 6, 2013 16:48:19 GMT -8
"It's not my fault you made the helmets impossible to see out of, you douche."
You have been buried in the sand of an abandoned beach. The seagulls decide that you are a meal which can't fight back.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2013 17:17:49 GMT -8
"Fuck you, Major. You said this was going to be fun."
Your ship's inertial compensator is failing, and you're accelerating at a steady 300 gravities. Prepare to be goo in 3...2...1...
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The Major
Member
Also known as Sailor Titan
Posts: 5,959
Affiliation: Fallanassi
Traffic Light: Blue
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Post by The Major on Dec 6, 2013 17:58:50 GMT -8
"I feel like Catherine the Great."
You are a horse in the first world war.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2013 18:05:46 GMT -8
NNNNEEEEEIGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
You are a horse right after the First World War, and you're on your way to the glue factory.
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The Major
Member
Also known as Sailor Titan
Posts: 5,959
Affiliation: Fallanassi
Traffic Light: Blue
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Post by The Major on Dec 6, 2013 18:11:00 GMT -8
"Don't kill me. I'm a magical pony from an alternate dimension that can grant wishes."
+ insert requested wish +
"Eat a Dick, Fuckface."
+ death +
You are a little pony trapped in basement dude's basement. You have a way to kill yourself. Before you apply emancipation liberally, you say:
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2013 18:15:19 GMT -8
"At least I die with my virginity intact."
A wizard casts a spell on you, making you look like a blow up doll to everyone else and paralyzing you. Before you choke to death, you say...
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Atton Kaelan
Crew of the Wayward Son
You're not allowed to name the star destroyer after your junk, Adi.
Posts: 265
Traffic Light: Green
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Post by Atton Kaelan on Dec 10, 2013 9:17:56 GMT -8
"Well...this certainly..."*telekinetically dons sunglasess*"...inflated my problems."
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
You are wearing a Tony Romo jersey in Philadelphia, and a mob of angry and drunk Eagles fans has surrounded you.
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The Major
Member
Also known as Sailor Titan
Posts: 5,959
Affiliation: Fallanassi
Traffic Light: Blue
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Post by The Major on Dec 10, 2013 10:28:11 GMT -8
"Ha, I'll just drive home. Everybody knows people from Philly drive as good as the Chinese."
You are driving. In China.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2013 10:47:04 GMT -8
"I hope this thing has airbags."
You are sitting under the Sword of Damocles, and some idiot kid is trying to break the hair with silverware.
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The Holy Man
Member
I'm not a God, but I'll help you meet yours.
Posts: 248
Affiliation: Unknown
Traffic Light: Green
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Post by The Holy Man on Feb 27, 2014 11:33:42 GMT -8
"Silverware? I'm forked."
You called Sinistra a Lady.
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Captain Mardotte St Cyr
Member
I'm but only a single captain, of a single ship...
Posts: 88
Affiliation: Order, justice and peace
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Last Words
Feb 27, 2014 13:51:19 GMT -8
via mobile
Post by Captain Mardotte St Cyr on Feb 27, 2014 13:51:19 GMT -8
"Damn you gender equality. Just as I was getting things right, they changed the rul. . ."
An Enderman steals the seal to your lava pit.
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Post by Zik Kine on Feb 27, 2014 20:52:07 GMT -8
"With my last breathe, I curse Zoidberg!"
*You are a an officer NPC in an Assassin Creed game and just witnessed one of your underlings get dragged into a bale of hay. There are no reinforcements near by.*
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Captain Mardotte St Cyr
Member
I'm but only a single captain, of a single ship...
Posts: 88
Affiliation: Order, justice and peace
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Post by Captain Mardotte St Cyr on Feb 28, 2014 12:24:57 GMT -8
"And I thought rolling in the hay was supposed to be fun. . ."
You have failed Darth Vader for the last time.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2014 12:33:26 GMT -8
"Argh. Gurgle. Gasp"
You're about to be eaten by a sparkly vampire.
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Lord Sinistra
Retired High Councilor
VE Human Capital Management & Talent Acquisition
Posts: 1,474
Affiliation: The Vegemite Enclave
Traffic Light: Green
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Post by Lord Sinistra on Feb 28, 2014 13:02:20 GMT -8
"Would you mind terribly hacking me up and making sure I'm never found? I don't want it to be known I was killed by a walking Lisa Frank sticker book."
You went flying off the ski jump but there is no way you're going to stick the landing.
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