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Post by Kali Helaine on Oct 28, 2015 1:51:06 GMT -8
A small crease appeared upon her forehead as she grimaced slightly and her eyes widened as she surveyed the room., there was so much blood. This was what Hevn called ‘drills’? She took a step inside and found Hevn, her jaw dropped a little as she shook her head from side to side and thought to herself “Had Harnaidan not been bad enough?”, she had to wonder why he did this to himself, it was insane!
Hevn may have not been wincing as the droid set about patching him up, but Kali did. She bit down on her bottom lip as her nose scrunched slightly and her hands balled into a fist. As the sparks increased while the droids tried to finish sooner, she drew a sharp intake of air through her teeth as she turned away.
Her own pain she could cope with, the pain of others who were of some importance to her, it seemed she could not, whether they themselves could cope with it or not.
She heard the droids finish and turned her gaze back to Hevn. With the droid no longer obstructing her view of Hevn her gaze falls to his chest, her expression changes completely, it was now one of both shock and pain. There were so many scars meaning so much pain. She was surprised to find it made her angry, angry with those who had caused the pain. She could feel her jaw tensing, so when he began to stride toward her she turned her gaze away and looked back only when he had secured his robes in place and hiding the scars.
As he looked over her hilt, she examined his expressions closely for though she had followed the blueprints exactly, she could not be 100% sure she had not made a mistake she had never having created anything so intricate before so she was extremely nervous. His approval however bought relief. The muscles of her shoulders relaxed leaving her shoulders to drop. She gave a small grin and a nod of agreement at his observation of being eager to exercise.
I am. very.
As Hevn sets about the monitor, Kali stands awkwardly and nervously within the room, she is suddenly aware of just how exposed she is.. She took a deep breath and shook her head to try and force the thought from her mind. For being one of only two people in such a large room left her open to a
great deal of scrutiny. Again that fear of letting him down was seeping
back in. His view of her would be unobstructed.
She watched the ball roll toward the centre of the room and followed his instruction to head toward what was now a holo projection of a droid.
She thumbed the hilt of her saber and watched the icey blue blade hiss to life and immediately took the stance she had used on Harnaidan, both hands on her hilt and side facing stance with her right foot facing the projection. She could not imagine a time when the beauty of the blade would be lost upon her.
When Hevn demonstrated the correct stance, she adjusted, her eyes flitting from her own body to his as she tried to ensure her own posture was mirroring his exactly.
While he explained Kali watched and listened intensely, the only sign that she was listening and paying attention was a small nod of her head and her mirroring his actions away from the holoprojection.
In her mind Kali was thinking that this could not be so difficult, after all she had managed on Harnaidan, though she was sure that a lot of that was luck rather than skill, but she felt that this would be relatively easy in comparison. Oh how wrong she was.
So she began.
What Kali had not taken into consideration was the difference in balance of the blades. The swords and shotos were so much heavier; the balance was so very different. Hevn had made it look so easy and elegant and it seemed that the habit of wielding a sword was a difficult habit to break for Kali. Several times she lost her footing forwards as she almost fell through the projection. She was lunging and using her own body weight to reinforce the plunge of the blade.
She felt clumsy and was becoming frustrated.
Each shock, though it did not cause any real pain, it made her jump and curse. It was all in frustration with herself. After many more fails she stepped back, closed her eyes and drew a deep relaxing breath and released it slowly.
Opening her eyes she stepped forward again, rolling her head and shoulders as she did so. She was determined to get it right.
She pictured Hevns demonstration in her mind and loosened her grip on the hilt, formed the stance once more and waiting for the flash of red. The left arm flashed and she plunged the tip of the blade into the arm and withdrew quickly and efficiently. This was all reassurance she needed. She continued striking efficiently and precisely until the program began to speed up. It seemed to be programmed so that once you were doing well; it increased the speed to push you harder.
Thankfully Kali was determined and stubborn so despite her frustrations and regular cursing at the shocks, she persisted and it was showing. The number of shocks she was receiving was decreasing and her confidence was growing. She pushed herself harder and harder.
Her strikes were still a little stiff, far less elegant than Hevns own moves. She knew she needed to loosen up but she found it difficult, she could loosen before the strike, but found herself uncontrollably tensing during. She was not letting the saber do the work for her.
She lifted her forearm and wiped the beads of sweat from her brow and stepped back and straight back into it. She was working hard and pushing her limits, willing her speed and fluidity to increase. Her chest and back glistened from the sheen of sweat covering it, highlighting the many silver scars covering her back, scars that she, not having her memories, even knew existed.
Seemingly from out of no where, though still focused on the holoprojection…
Can I ask? What made you select me over the others?
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Post by Bedrovelse Hevn on Oct 28, 2015 16:52:57 GMT -8
As Bedrovelse circled he had to refrain from shouting at her. It had taken him time to learn as a master as well. It was far more productive to let the apprentice beat herself up. He wanted to call out at her footing, her grip, her awkward attacks, but noticed the determination on her face as the mistakes began to snowball. Shock after shock shook her body and the sharp pains made her shriek a high shrill note.
He observed that she dealt with pain quite well before a beginner. The shocks did not disperse her focus as easily as others. It would seem that her past attributed to some thick skin and high pain tolerance.
As she refocused he wondered upon what she centered her mind around. Her strikes grow more swift and precise, to his pleasure. All without having to critique or assail her. Are you finally using the dark side Kali? Your frustration and pain will make you faster. Clearer. Stronger.
Kali steps back to wipe the sweat from her forehead. When she went back in this time, it was all blue fury. She completed the first level of the program with a decisive flurry. As it began to repeat she asked her question, and Hevn moves toward the monitor. Disengaging the hologram. Bedrovelse speaks to her, configuring another set of training specifications.
"The force is strong with you."
Hevn's answer is simple and matter of fact, of course leaving a lot to be desired from Kali's perspective.
It was a lie he would have to repeat over and over until she was ready for the truth. Until her memory was intact enough to place his final piece of the puzzle. The one that connected the terrible Bedrovelse Hevn to the fledgling Kali Helaine.
The little ball of a droid took to the air. Flying now as the hologram vanished and it began to whizz around. A small blaster port opens and aims at Kali.
"You have done a little attack. Now it is time for some defense."
WIth the twirl of his wrist his white lightsaber blade screams to life. He presumes the same stance as they had when the had faced the hologram, though this time instead of pointing the blade out toward the droid, he pulls it close to his body.
"Keep your hands close, it is paramount to defending against, and reflecting blaster bolts. Few of the enemies you will encounter shall wield lightsabers. Blasters are far more prevalent in the galaxy at large. This is the most important practice you can put time into, and one I desire you to heavily stress. For now you may use your eyes, watch the droid. As you advance you will be blindfolded, and will need to trust your feelings. Trust the force. To guide your hands. That being said, I need you to practice that now as you will then. Dig into your memory. Recall the fear, the pain, the anger, the hate, whatever you can. Use it to protect yourself. Use it to touch the force and predict the droid's attacks."
Bedrovelse sweeps out away from her, the small ball of a droid following him. Hevn closes his eyes, before muttering.
"Begin."
First the ball darts to his upper left, firing a bolt at his face which is deflected by the blade of his lightsaber. Then the ball darts to his right. It continued to change angles and altitudes to best Hevn's defense, but it could not. Faster and faster the pair turned as it consistently tried to attack his back and could make no mark. Hevn was a flash of white swatting red bolts into the ceiling above.
"Enough."
The droid stops, following him as he approaches Kali again.
"The bolts are set to stun. They're going to hurt more than the shock, less than a real bolt. Take too many and it might paralyze the limb for an hour or so. Remember. Keep your hands, and the blade close. Focus on the force. You may begin at your preparation."
With a flourish Hevn's blade retreats back behind the jaws of the krayt dragon upon his hilt. Hevn backs away to allow her ample room to swing and attempt deflection. This was a drill many younglings performed. It tested their affinity for their danger sense, and their reflexes to that call in their gut. Without any proper training he wondered how the girl would fair.
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Post by Kali Helaine on Oct 29, 2015 3:41:02 GMT -8
The darkness that had unleashed itself within her on Harnaidan had awoken once more, since leaving the planet she had not felt its presence but whether it was her training, the pain or the return of her memory had woken it once more she did not know. Now inside her it was more prevalent than before, it was snaking its way deeper and deeper within her soul. It was craving vengeance.
Rather than weaken her or take control it was guiding her and strengthening her. It was aiding her focus. While her body was tiring and telling her to break, the darkness was giving her the strength and desire to persist and to conquer, to better herself and turn herself into a formidable weapon, only then could she seek the revenge she craved.
When the hologram shuts down, Kali turns to Hevn, She deactivates her saber and begins to stretch. Some how this lessened the discomfort left from the shocks of the droid. Now she was no longer acting on reflex, she could feel what felt like deep burning bruises covering her body and some how the stretching lessened the discomfort.
As Hevn gave his answer to her question she stopped her stretching, stood upright and just stared at him. She was incredulous. What kind of answer was that? She was left wanting, to Kali this was no answer; there was no explanation, no detail, nothing. She knew him well enough by now to know that if she were to push she would get nothing but anger. She was training and he would expect her to be focused upon that and not on, what, she assumed, he would see as pointless questions. It seemed that now she was amassing quite the list of questions she would be asking him when the time was right. This frustrated her greatly. This man frustrated her in so many ways and seemed to easily get under her skin. It was infuriating, though she believed she hid it very well. To allow him to see would reveal a weakness, a weakness to be exploited.
She watched the droid lift into the air and then studied his grip on his saber. The hilt was truly a piece of art, it was beautiful, he had stepped away from the simple functionality and crafted something truly unique and stunning and the blade complemented it beautifully. It was strange how something of such beauty could be deadly.
She watched closely as he deflected the shots fired and noted how it appeared with so little effort and movement, he managed to deflect every single one. It appeared it was mainly in the movements of the wrists.
There was only one part of this exercise in defence that made her truly fearful and that was recalling the emotions of her memory. She did not feel ready for that yet; it was all still so new and raw. She had locked it away for good reason. It was causing too much pain, so much so that she felt she would be unable to function if she let it free. She trusted his judgement and trusted his experience; there was no question in Kali’s mind that his methods were true, it was her own fear of the pain, of acknowledging the truth of her existence before Hevn had found her that caused her reticence.
It was not until this thought process that Kali had even wondered of the origins of Hevns pain and anger, she knew only of what had happened with the order, but nothing of before then. Was this something she would be free to question? He knew only of hers as he had seen the memories for himself, he had found her and as a result he knew her past, but did that mean she was free to know of his? What had happened that had fuelled his desire to go to the depths that he had?
She switched her path of thought and bought herself back to the present, she mirrored his stance once more. She thumbed the activation of her saber and gripped the hilt within her hands, as before, her grip was light yet secure to allow movement, just as she would have the shotos, and held it close to her body.
She took a deep breath, this was not cleansing, it was a breath full of tension for she reached back within the deepest recess of her mind and recalled the memory given to her. The darkness within her reacted immediately; it roared and coiled angrily within her. Her eyes became wider and darker as the flurry of emotions swept through her. The fear and humiliation of hearing the door being torn from its hinges, of the stranger striding across the room toward her and finding her shackled in such a way was just as raw as it had been when he had first returned the memory. For a moment she felt it was going to break her as her mind was ready to shut down but something happened. She let herself go and allowed herself to feel everything without conscious thought or feelings. She allowed herself to feel it all and harnessed it, she held on to them in a way that did not overwhelm her, but fuelled her and connected her with the force in a way she never had.
In a voice that no longer sounded like her own, she took command of the droid.
Begin
Immediately the droid began to fire at her and one by one she deflected the shots. She was gaining confidence now, her determination to succeed was strong but her desire for revenge was stronger. She was finding herself for the first time. She called out to the droid once more, surprising herself when doing so.
Increase.
The shots began to fire more rapidly now, and for the first time in this exercise she was taking hits. With each one came anger, anger with herself for not deflecting it, anger with herself for not being better. Yet with each hit, she fought harder. Hevn had not lied, they hurt, a guttural sound escaped lips her in frustration and she cursed aloud and then pushed herself harder and harder, Using the pain to help her do so.
Her hair was falling loose and sticking to her face, but she did not stop, she was thirsty but she would not stop, she was tiring, but still she would not stop. Her reasoning was that if she was under fire, the enemy would not halt to allow her to take a refreshment break and secure her hair, so why should she stop here?
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Post by Bedrovelse Hevn on Oct 30, 2015 4:34:36 GMT -8
Finally! Bedrovelse had pushed her into a direction in which she would see his wisdom at work. Give her belief in his system and methods. Prove to her that she could be more. Whatever direction she thought she had before this moment was a candle in the inferno of the dark side. Now she could taste its power coursing through her. Her aura roiled like a wild ocean wave. Crashing this way and that as she could focus neither her fear or anger, but made the first step in letting them pour into her. Empower her! Give her a taste of life's finest delicacy. Power.
It was Hevn's turn this time. Shouting from the wall as she grunted with hit after hit from the droid's lasers.
"You need not hold your ground in this exercise! Use your footwork!"
Suddenly it became an entirely different game. She was no stalwart defender as Hevn had become, and watching her was a work of art. Her fury broke free with each step, little by little building as she twisted and swatted the bolts away. In her growing success Hevn shouts again.
"Increase!"
Kali might have smiled, if a grimace of either pain, tire, or pure rage were not consuming her face. She screamed. Loud and as beautifully as bells to Hevn's ears. It was so raw. So primal. She let it all go. The droid was darting nearly as fast as the eye could see, and yet she found a way to begin attacking it. The blasts coming just in time for it to dart away from her saber strikes.
As soon as her feet touched the ground again she pounced at it.
"Increase!"
There was one more step to show her. It was going to be a savage but important lesson. The true power of the dark side.
The next level of the droid's systems was not only to become faster, but fire twice instead of once. Kali was still on top of it as it darted back and fired twice. Very impressively both patience and control were demonstrated. She had been careful to pause with each increase command and read its new course of action. Both bolts were swatted away. The droid was pushing her to the defense as her wrists swished in front of her, a fan of blue stopping each pair of incoming bolts. Her natural flight of foot was no longer aiding her.
An enormous wave of darkness bubbles inside her as pain and suffering take hold. Anger rocketing her power skyward.
Hevn's voice booms out from behind her.
"Kali! Release your anger! Crush it!"
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Post by Kali Helaine on Oct 30, 2015 10:49:17 GMT -8
She felt so strong and so full of power. It was like the purest form of an adrenaline rush she had ever experienced. She felt it strengthened her not only mentally, but physically if that were even possible. In a strange way the anger made her feel more alive for hit left her feeling as if there were still so much energy left within her waiting to be expelled. She wanted to run fast, she wanted scream as loudly as physically possible, she wanted to hit something, she wanted to kick something and she wanted to tear something apart, all at the same time. She felt she were about to explode such were the feelings within her. She was fit to burst and she felt that if she were to do so, it would feel beyond words.
She was so lost within the moment that she did not think how it was that she was managing to keep pace with the droid, she was not thinking of her footwork nor of the movements of the droid, it all flowed so easily now. She had given herself fully over to the force and it was now guiding her every single move.
Now it made it all so easy. There was no more questioning herself, there was no more trying to impress nor worries of letting anyone down. It was all gone and replaced with a confidence that had not been there previously.
Pure vengeance had turned the droid from being a simple piece of training apparatus into the one who was solely responsible for all that had happened to her. She fought against it hard; she chased it around the room keeping it always before her. She deflected the double strikes away always trying to move closer and in for the kill. She wanted to destroy it and she was channelling everything she had into doing just that.
Any blast that hit her only served to fuel her anger more.
Hevn’s words fill the air and she responds immediately. With the blood pounding in her ears she draws upon the feelings of anger and desire for revenge and releases her left hand from her saber and aims it at the droid with an open palm, she felt the force secure its grip upon the droid while letting out a most primal scream and quickly curled her hand into a ball, crushing the ball droid before releasing it from her grip and watched it fall to the floor. This was the release she had wanted, everything she had within her all that anger and pain was released in that one moment and the exhilaration that followed it was amazing. She thumbed the deactivation pad of her saber to deactivate it and then leans forward and rests her hands on her knees as she began to come down, she felt both depleted and spent but in the most amazing way. Rising up she leant backwards with her arms above her head and stretched, then leaning forward she grasped her ankles. Quickly her muscles were beginning to feel weaker. Her energy was now depleted She stood back upright, rolled her shoulders and dropped herself to the floor.
She let out a light chuckle, led herself back on the floor with her arms above her head and led there silently with a small grin lifting the corners of her mouth and her eyes closed, she was relishing in the feeling and memory of the moment and soaking it all in.
It was the first time in a long time that she was able to enjoy a moment of inner silence. There was not a single thought in her mind and it was bliss, it was the respite that she had needed. Since that moment she had woken up on the plains of Correllia her life had been hectic with not a single moment to catch her breath let alone digest all that had happened. She had no idea how she truly felt about anything let alone her new path in life. She knew it was where she was meant to be, she could feel that. It all felt right, but she had not had that time to truly think about it.
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Post by Bedrovelse Hevn on Oct 31, 2015 4:16:30 GMT -8
The slow tap of Hevn's boots approach from behind Kali. Circling to her left as she begins to stretch. Looking her over for damage. The exhaustion he expected. The glee, he had not. The little laugh and smile did not pierce the visage of the cold Bedrovelse. She had fought far better than well. She was ready to choose a style.
This was not beginners luck. This was not even the skill of her past coming to light, as her brain touched over the paths carved from her old self. Her shooting and slicing was superb. The darkness that surrounded her was the prophecy come to life. She was as powerful as warned, or promised depending on your point of view, Hevn presumed both. A taker of great risks in the long game.
Kali's grandfather was a mad Sith Lord who performed unspeakable acts during his reign of terror. He massacred his entire cult to cast a spell on Kali's mother. He promised that her offspring would be imbued with the darkness of a thousand betrayals. The insane old man forced his son upon her to ensure the power of the child. As the pregnancy progressed Kali's mother's health began to weaken dramatically. The father came to Bedrovelse for help, knowing of the hermit Dark Jedi's whereabouts and knowledge of such bizarre terrors. Unless they could kill the caster there would be death for both daughter and mother. Confident he could win, Hevn confronted the Sith and killed him, but not in time. Kali's mother had passed away during labor, taking the baby the father fled. When he reached orbit it was over. His own father had brought a slaving crew to reap the population. Kali's father died trying to protect her.
Hevn felt him in the force. He felt him leave it too. The girl would become a force of the dark side whose limits could be boundless. Only her teacher would know. Escaping was not enough. Hevn needed her alive. Hevn slew his way through every ship looking for the girl. Leaving nothing but the pulverized remnants of ships in his wake, floating like tombstones in oblivion. Wherever she was, she was gone. What good was the revenge he took for the girl who would never know?
Now she was here. The truth was far more excruciating than the droid bolts.
Would she ever be ready? How would he know? Was it really for him to decide?
"Force crush. Remember it. Most effectively used on the windpipe, rib cage, elbow, knee, and ankles. These specific areas are always within line of sight, and easy to target on every species in the universe you confront with the naked eye. You may learn to target more specific areas if you study the anatomy of other species, but until then consider yourself only an expert on humanoids. It is an act of telekinesis. Consider yourself having taken a step forward from pulling and pushing. Someone of equal will may resist it, so remember that you must be driven to use it. You must use your hate and anger. You must seethe. You must desire your enemies suffering if you wish to bring it to them."
Hevn finishes circling to look down upon her.
"You are dismissed. Shower. Rest. Your things will be here when you wake. Alpha and Claws are out on an errand. They will be back tomorrow. Is there a power I have shown you that you have interest in beginning with? If so I would see to it that we start there right away."
His usually bitter stare was plain, save for the frigid eyes in his pale face. He was pleased and impressed with her first outing.
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Post by Kali Helaine on Oct 31, 2015 15:05:23 GMT -8
While he began to circle her, she lifted herself to sit upright and craned her neck to allow her gaze to follow him. Her head turned as he was walked with her eyes never leaving him. It was not through fear but through her desire to learn. With her legs bent and her feet flat on the ground, she leant forward as she rest her elbows upon her knees.
It had not occurred to her that she would be able to use force crush on the internal organs, though when she thought about it, it made perfect sense as you would be able to visualise the internal organ once you knew of its placement. Kali decided then that she would ensure that she would learn everything there was to learn about anatomy, anything to give her that advantage over any possible opponent.
Kali was in no doubt as to whether she had enough pain to reflect upon to feed her connection to the force; Hevn had made sure of this when he had returned her memory to her. As for her desire to slay her enemy, Kali’s world was very black and white, so if her opponent were indeed her enemy, then there is no question as to whether she would desire their death enough to preform to the best of her ability.
As he stopped his circling of her, she bought herself to her feet and stood before him, her neck was craned slightly so as to match his gaze. She was not ready to eat and retire to bed. Though fatigued she was determined to continue with her training until she was no longer physically capable and since he had offered to train her in a skill of her choice, her desire grew all the more. There was no question in her mind as to where she would wish to begin. Her mind rushed back to the raid on the bank, Stood at the foot of the stairs before the door that would lead them to the control room were Hevn, Alpha and Kali. On the other side of the door were a swarm of a security waiting to take down the attackers. Without so much as breaking a sweat, Hevn had summoned the force and with skill and precision had tortured the minds and caused the death of each member of the security squad. Kali had stood before the door and watched through the small window in shock and awe. In that moment Kali felt a desire to do whatever she needed to learn the skills Hevn possessed.
Without begging or pleading but with only desire and determination in her eyes, she requested firmly he reconsider.
Please, I am not ready to retire yet. I know what it is I wish you to teach me and I am ready to continue with my training now, I need no more than a drink and a smoke before we continue. During the raid on the bank you sent those guards insane to the point where they killed themselves or each other, I wish to learn that and I promise I am able to learn now.
If he were to reject her request, she knew that to plead further would be fruitless with the possibility of infuriating him so this would be her last request, but she also knew that she would not be retiring as he suggested. For reasons beyond explanation she was fearful of falling asleep, the mere thought of falling asleep caused her stomach to knot and twist. She knew sleep was an inevitability, there would come a time when it would take her whether she wanted it or not and she wished to prolong that time for as long as possible.
This reminded her of earlier in the day when Hevn had given her a tour of their new home, as he had shown her the bedroom he had mentioned that he did not sleep and this had caused her to wonder why. She decided then that when he had answered her request, she would ask why, perhaps he had the answers as to how one could avoid sleeping.
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Post by Bedrovelse Hevn on Nov 5, 2015 5:25:43 GMT -8
Bedrovelse frowned down at her for a moment. He stared in a long silence before mustering the strength to spit it out.
"All right. Kitchen then."
Bedrovelse led through the door. He turns his cheek to speak to her again. His intensity was fading.
"I could use a few drinks and smokes. Those furry pricks put a hurting on me. I take them on without the force, so that I'm sharper with it."
Turning into the kitchen Hevn goes toward the fridge. He emerges with a clear container full of a thick green sludgy substance. The grin on his face was one of a kind. Common in his younger days, but rare now in his weathered state of being.
"This is some funny wookiee stuff Claws brought back from Kashyyk. Too potent for humans. So lets try cyborgs."
Hevn sits down at the table and places his tin of smokes on the table. Opening it he gestures toward them and then a seat.
"You may."
Hevn takes a small gulp of wookie juice before swallowing with wide eyes. With a grunt he examines the jug and shivers. Setting it down on the table he feels a warm sensation grip the patches of his body that still have skin.
"I like it."
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Post by Kali Helaine on Nov 5, 2015 6:20:50 GMT -8
He was going to say no, she could tell, it was the look on his face and in his eyes that gave it away. It looked to Kali as if he were trying to hide his exasperation with her. She had pushed him too much.
As he gave his answer she stepped back and was about to drop her head to nod and say her farewell for the evening when his words finally registered. She had been presumptuous and had tried to read an unreadable man; it was a foolish act on her part and a dangerous habit to fall in to.
With relief she expressed her gratitude with a simple.
Thank you.
While Hevn went to the fridge, Kali made her way to the counter that held a large pack of bottled water. She removed one and placed it upon the table and then searched through the cupboards for something stronger once she had quenched her thirst. In the very last cupboard she found a tall bottle of a spirit called Red Dwarf. The seal was unbroken so with a shrug she placed it upon the table with a small glass.
She looked at the sludge that Hevn had placed on the counter and gave a small grimace, it looked foul and she could not quite work out whether she felt Hevn was brave or stupid for trying to drink it.
She grasped the jug and lifted it to her nose as she sniffed the contents lightly; even this made her eyes water.
Rather you than me, I am waiting to see steam coming out of your ears!
She opened the water and immediately drank half of the bottle, then poured herself a shot of Red Dwarf and lit one of the offered smokes...
Thank you. I should really either quit or get some of my own.
To see Hevn smile was as curious as it was shocking. It was a different smile than the one he displayed in the bank as he and Alpha had mocked her poor choice of wording, though she could not explain how. It put her at completely at ease despite the nagging voice at the back of her mind telling her to become so.
After a large puff, Kali looked at Hevn silently for a moment. She was thinking of what he had said about not sleeping and was debating on whether to ask him about it now or later. She took a sip of the shot and coughed a little; though delicious it caused a rather pleasant, if somewhat strong burn on the way down. She took another pull on her smoke.
I am going to be completely open with you, despite everything within me telling me not to. You are a very difficult man to read, I can never judge when is a good time to express what is on my mind. This makes it very difficult to know when to keep my mouth shut, quite frankly. Maybe I do not always phrase things correctly leaving them open for misinterpretation, but my questions are only ever asked out my desire to learn. Simple questions such as ,Whilst showing me around you mentioned you did not sleep and I was curious, is it because of your modifications, some kind of magic or something else? And, as for the ‘furry pricks’…Kalis humour was rather dry, maybe even odd and as such the only smile to be seen on her face was within her eyes, the rest of her face unchanged…where are they? You mentioned they were away but not where or why. I never know if these things are ever open for discussion. So, I thought it best if maybe you could tell me what is off limits?
Lifting her glass Kali took another sip of the shot before finishing the bottle of water. Though feeling nervous about all she had just said, she felt it was the only way for her to be able to function normally, comfortably and able to learn. She did not like having to walk around on tip toes, and Alpha telling her that she was mistaken in how she saw Hevn, left her feeling on edge. She did not know how to interact with him as a result.
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Post by Bedrovelse Hevn on Nov 6, 2015 5:27:44 GMT -8
Life was far too short to quit your pleasures. Some called it gluttony, and others addiction to chase your pleasure. What else in life was there to live for if not the sweet things? The buzz of the nicotine. The hot dizziness of being tipsy. The body of a women burning with wants and needs. The succulent nectar of meat running over your tongue and down into your empty crying belly. Even before Hevn had learned to bend time to his advantage and existence he believed these things, and the Dark Jedi only served to enhance that natural belief by acting on their desires, battling the consequence, and emerging stronger.
The chuckle came from the back of his throat. Puffs of smoke spitting through his dry lips. The mechanical assistance gave it an odd clicking sound. Hevn leans back in his seat, observing her. Taking a much smaller sip of the wookie juice, Hevn sets it down, wiping his mouth before answering.
"Being difficult to read is a tactic I highly suggest you begin employing. Practice your poker face. I enjoy the advantage of appearing...."
Bedrovelse leans in closer to her. Widening his frigid leer into a storming glare. His pale skin and white hair framing the pair of pale sapphires that he appeared a ghost more than anything else. With a grin he utters his punch line.
"Unnerving."
Bedrovelse leans back again taking a longer sip of the sludge before returning it to the table with a bitter look on his face. This stuff registered something fiercely nasty in a mouth that perceived very little flavor at all.
"I will be honest with you as well. Quite frankly my least favorite questions include "why". It questions the validity of a decision I have deemed necessary to complete an objective. I must temper my patience. Solitude with the sword has made me edgy."
A grim look accompanies Hevn's harsh gaze.
"I do not sleep because my dreams are of Hell. The Chaos. If not of eternal pain, than of my massacred family and love lost. If not of that? I dream of the wicked sorcerer that returned me from my icy tomb. He knew I would be a powerful tool. A creature of hatred and anger unmatched in raw fury. He tortured me until I didn't feel pain. Tore my brain apart until it was callous as steel. Things that will haunt me forever."
He let his stare settle on her for a moment taking a pull from his smoke.
" I learned the advantage in going without sleep when I was assisted with modifications. I can process information faster and maintain health without wasting a moment on rest. Always vigilant and relentless on my quest for invaluable treasure. Knowledge. Wisdom. I have returned because my destiny is not yet fulfilled. I continued my quest for the Order. Suddenly here you are. Alkor appears. I sense it was meant to unfold this way. Let the old stars die. Give them their moment of silence. Burn again."
He was surprised she mentioned the duo at all. Hevn had expected her to leap on the opportunity of sleeping without snores or whistles.
"Alpha and Claws are under my personal employ. This is a good example of a limit. It is my business what they are up to and prefer to keep it that way for my own safety, as with all of my affairs. The point of our mission on Muunilinst was that throughout all the chaos, death, and destruction, I got you out alive with nothing but your faith in me. A thousand questions storming in your head that I barred from exiting your mouth, half of them put to rest as we took to the air and you knew what I told you was true. You are strong. I think of your inquiry upon my mercenaries as gossip more so than necessary intelligence prevalent to your advantage in any way, nor my divulging it to you. "
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Post by Kali Helaine on Nov 7, 2015 1:07:56 GMT -8
She agreed that being difficult to read would be a useful practice, it made perfect sense, but then was it a tactic he needed to use with those closest? Kali had assumed that with her, with Alpha and Claws that perhaps he may drop his guard, but then as he had said previously, he trusted no one. It was something that would hinder a close bond. Maybe her biggest struggle here was that she was in the dark as to how these relationships were supposed to work for she had believed that the relationship between Master and Apprentice was something more than a relationship between boss and staff. She had assumed it would be more personal and that there would be a bond. Again, she was making assumptions which were proving to be a hindrance. She was so desperate to find her place within the world and to find somewhere to belong.
As Hevns leans in closer, her jaw sets and her face hardens. There was an element of defiance within her that prevented her from leaning back to make space between them. As his expressions morphs into a grin she chuckles, partially with relief but also mostly because she had found his joke amusing.
She took another sip of her Red Dwarf finishing the contents; she refilled the glass with a more generous measure and took another deep deep pull on her smoke.
As she released the large plume of smoke from her lungs she chuckled at the revelation of his distaste for the word ‘why’. She chuckled as she was trying to calculate how many times she had said that particular word to him in their time together. She did ask a lot of questions, she knew that and the reason why, Knowledge gave her security and it was that simple.
His reasons for not sleeping took her by surprise. What he was describing was, to her, unimaginable. She could not imagine what it would be like to never feel a moments rest, to never close your eyes without such pain coming back to haunt you. She tried to manage her expression carefully and tried to maintain a face void of emotion as he did not want to see her sympathy. She did feel a sense of admiration for the fact that he had used all he had been through and all he had suffered through into a life or sorts for himself. He could have crumbled and died, or thrown himself into a life of self pity but he had not, he had shown strength and she admired him for that. Though no great detail had been shared between them, these revelations gave her some of the understanding she had been seeking. For the first time since they had met she felt closer to understanding why he was the way he was.
She conceded his observations of her concerning Alpha and Claws with a nod of her head.
She took a sip from her freshly filled glass and pulled once more on her smoke.
Thank you for being so open. Regarding Alpha and Claws, you are right. That was my curiosity getting the better of me. As for the rest, for reasons beyond my understanding I feel a deep insecurity and fear of the unknown. It may appear at times that I am questioning your judgement when in reality that is not true. It is a need to understand the logic or logistics in order to settle my anxieties. Having all of the facts laid before me seems to give me that.
I do not think my trust in you can be questioned any longer. I have placed my life in your hands and seek your guidance, and in a sense, I am openly vulnerable before you. You hold my life in your hands, all of my memories you hold, you can access at any time and use them against me yet I trust that you will not do so. These memories I have no doubt that, if you wished, you could manipulate into something they are not and yet I do not believe you will. So my questions of why are never about your judgements.
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Post by Kali Helaine on Nov 8, 2015 3:31:46 GMT -8
CONT…..
Lifting her glass to her lips she emptied the contents and placed it upon the side. Once she had returned to the table, she took her last pull on the smoke and extinguished it in the ashtray and looked down upon Hevn from his right side.
Unless you wish to discuss anything further, shall we return to training?
Her mind was lingering on being unreadable. There were times when she said little and tried to mask her expression, she did this out of self preservation so now, it would she would need to try and put this into practice on a daily basis and make it become natural and without conscious thought.
Kali drew a deep breath and brought forward the memory that Hevn had returned, she threw herself into the moment and allowed herself to feel all the pain and the betrayal from that one moment. She embraced it fully and used it to fuel her strength in the force. It occurred to her in that moment that this was an opportune time to focus on becoming unreadable. Despite all the pain that she was feeling and her urge to lash out she relaxed the muscles in her face and tried to keep her eyes neutral. She felt she had achieved this with her facial expressions as for her eyes, she was less convinced.
The darkness within her was feeding off her now, it never slept nor hid, it coiled deep down within her eagerly awaiting her to draw upon the force. With each use it became stronger. It was slowly eating away at her soul, devouring her humanity and consuming her empathy.
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Post by Bedrovelse Hevn on Nov 10, 2015 0:17:57 GMT -8
Alas for the first time he had seemingly answered all of her questions to completion! Such so that it was the girl pushing to move on other than Hevn having to bulldoze through a wall of prickly questions. She had submitted the entirety of herself to him. Bared her heart completely to him and perhaps a flicker of feeling arose in him. It had been too long since he had suffered the company of another being let alone an emotional one. He knew taking on this apprentice would be a challenge for him just as much as her.
Hevn rises from his chair and places the wookie juice back in the fridge. His head felt dizzy. The effect he desired.
"Good Kali. You will become strong for it. Have all the things you deserve. Come lets see if you can divine the things I fear most."
Walking from the kitchen he leads the way to the training room. Sitting down in the center with his legs folded. His arm gesturing for Kali to copy him.
"In the bank I induced a manic frenzy of insanity, the greatest of a long line of tricky powers of suggestion. The simplest is the mind trick. Using the force to coerce an individual to change their mind in your favor of suggestion. The darker version of this is controlling their fear. Attacking the part of the brain which contains their fears and insecurities, and releasing them to taking a physical effect on the body. First they will become uncomfortable, but if you succeed they will be induced into state of chronic terror. Forcing them to cower or become paralyzed. You are not nearly strong enough to pick my brain. In the case of an opponent whose mental capacity out matches your own, you must weaken them. Dull their senses using drugs, alcohol, or some powers in the force. You will not be able to shatter me, but you should be able to pick up my weaknesses if you pry hard enough in my current state of mind. Begin when you are ready."
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Post by Kali Helaine on Nov 10, 2015 5:37:37 GMT -8
By the time he had risen from the chair she felt just as connected with the force as she had in the training room. Already she felt stronger and more in control than she had within the bank. It was now that she truly understood that the connection was always present within her just at times it was dormant. It was the thing that made her heart beat within her chest When she chose to channel it is when it infused her with a strength and abilities that others did not possess.
She followed Hevn through to the training room and followed him to the centre. She sat down before him with her legs crossed before her leaving no more than a foot between them. With her back straight and her hands resting upon her knees she took a deep breath and closed her eyes momentarily. She was focusing her energies and trying to feel her pain and anger in its most raw form.
As her eye lids lifted they revealed the darkened and hard purple eyes that were fixated upon Hevns. Her gaze intensified as she tried to reach deep into his soul. Reaching out with the force she emptied her mind, in her mind it was as if tendrils of the force were reaching out from her and trying to find their way into his mind, his heart and his soul and search for the most hidden and darkest of his secrets. He had previously spoken of his family and a lost love and this was what she focused upon.
Though it was something he had invited her to do, the very thought of using his pain to strengthen and train her did not sit comfortably with Kali at all, it made her feel dirty as if she were betraying him and his trust. She did not like it but these were emotions she needed to place aside if she were to be successful within her training.
She knew she was close to finding something as she was suddenly feeling a resistance. There was a wall she was unable to break through, she continued to push, pushing more strongly each time.
Her left hand was balling into a fist while her right lifted from her right knee and was now stretching out before her at head height, with her palm facing his face she tried to will the barrier within him to drop. Her face reddened as she groaned quietly as she strained the tendrils to break through.
On and on she pushed forward when for the briefest of moments she felt something, it felt to Kali as if she had broken through but it was so brief that she could not be certain but it had surprised her enough that she had lost her focus.
She slammed her fists against her thighs as she cursed aloud.
Kriff it!
She shook her arms out and rolled her shoulders so as to loosen her muscles and relax enough to focus once more.
Okay. Again. I feel that I felt something, am I getting close?
She took a deep breath and rest her hands on her knees once again as she readied herself to focus and push forward once more.
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Post by Bedrovelse Hevn on Nov 13, 2015 5:12:53 GMT -8
Kali's will scratched at the surface of a mind truly callous and scarred. Where he had not been pushed before, the Dark Jedi had sent him to murder what remained of his demons. Behind their cages they rattled the bars, in a prison buried deep in a labyrinth of Hevn's willpower. Images of his family flashed to the surface of his mind as she clawed at a roiling power, the visions giving Hevn clarity and dominance of her attempt. Exhausting her slightly as well it seemed.
Bedrovelse turns the full fury of his glare upon her. Blistering blue bulbs in his face of hatred. His face is tight with rage. With a sigh he lets it fade. Letting the moments pass before he calmed himself.
"You tried to strike too deep. A wound yes, but a long buried one."
Hevn taps his head with a finger.
"You must attack at the surface. Something that triggers them. Spiders. Fire. Death. You get the idea. You must induce a response they cannot fight."
Lowering his hand Hevn's visage took on a look of bitter contempt. He loudly cracks his neck.
"The sword."
Staring expectantly at her he waited for it. This time he was going to fight.
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Post by Kali Helaine on Nov 13, 2015 7:15:16 GMT -8
The look in his eyes told Kali that she really had made a grave error. Maybe she had been too literal or maybe, misunderstood his instruction. Whatever the reason, his look had chilled her core.
While she was apologetic for her direction of her attempts there was also a part of her that was quite pleased with herself, pleased in her ability not with her target.
Though mistaken she had obviously begun to tap into an area buried deeply within him. Though she had managed this fully, she felt proud that she had even managed to scrape the surface in one with the experience and talents of Hevn, naturally she hid these feelings from Hevn, maybe this was not going to be as difficult as she had first imagined.
With her body relaxed and her mind focused she went back to that deep and dark place that strengthened her connection with the force. It was becoming so much easier now to make that connection. It was almost automatic. She no longer had to bring back those emotions through vivid memory as she could simply call upon those emotions and they were there at full strength. Maintaining her focus was just as easy but what was letting her down was her stamina. She knew it would come with time, patience and training yet she was impatient with herself and wanted it all to come to her now. Her determination would force her to continue pushing until she was satisfied, no matter what it took.
She was focused and she was ready, quickly she lifted her hands and tucked her hair behind her ears.
Kali followed his cue and momentarily her eyes flicked to the sword before settling back upon his gaze. Her now relaxed hands settled back upon her knees as she straightened her back. In her eyes there was a look of steely determination. There was no question in her mind that this time she was going to break through, she gave herself no other option that to push through and maintain the connection that she sought.
She pushed tendrils of the force from her and toward the surface of his mind as he had instructed. She was attempting to scratch away at the surface and strike directly at his fears. With the sword now at the forefront of her thoughts, she now began to attempt to imbue his mind with the realisation of his fears concerning it. She wanted his fears to become a reality; she wanted him to believe that the sword had taken hold of his mind to the point where he had no control, to the point where he had lost himself completely.
For a brief moment she lost a small measure of her focus. Her problem had been that while this was what she was seeking and willing him to fear she had pictured it all clearly in her own mind to the point that she was able to visualise it herself. She had taken her thoughts somewhere she did not want to go. So while this was a fear of his, it was also one of her own. She did fear him losing himself to that thing, the majority of that fear was selfish, she feared how it was impact her life but there was also a small part of her that was worried about what it would do to him.
She did not love him; she did not know him well enough to feel something as strong as love, just as she did not love Alpha. With Alpha there was a degree of affection as in their brief time together they had developed some semblance of a relationship, yet with Hevn, he did not let anyone close enough to form even that. Did she care? To a degree, yes she did. He had saved her life and for that she would be eternally grateful, he had taken her under his wing, given her everything she could ever need and he was protecting her while giving her the strength and abilities to protect herself, because of all of this she cared. This made it difficult to picture the sword winning the battle of the wills.
She knew that this would weaken her attempts to succeed so as such, she pushed it aside and buried it deeply within her and bought back that determination and focus and she did and she gave it everything she had within her to bend his fears to her will.
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Post by Bedrovelse Hevn on Nov 14, 2015 6:10:14 GMT -8
Kali was growing at an impressively increased rate. No longer did she pine idly by for the force to touch her. She knew how to reach out and grab it now. Wrap it around her and let it course through her body. Thought it did not flow through her constantly as soon it would, her snatches at it were in great heaps of power. Against the droid she had become a furious blue hurricane. Moments ago she had scratched the drunken mind of a great and immortal power. Hevn is beyond life and death. A force all his own to be reckoned with in the empty void of the universe and it's numerous twisted secrets.
Hevn waited patiently for his student to begin. Prepping his mind against the power of the blade and her force combined. His first cue was her tucking her hair behind her ears. Thus far it had seemed to mean she was about to do something big. Bedrovelse's glare flared in its full enormity once more. A leer of hatred flaying every inch of her. With a loud grunt his face contorts in pain, and his eyes nap shut. His prosthetic teeth grind as the motors in his jaws whine.
The sword snapped at him the instant she began. It knew of his suggestion and her will to bring it to life. Hevn was testing himself far more than he was testing Kali's abilities. To repel the sword at all was a feat to be reckoned with. To repel it a second time with her amplifying it would mean he had finally overcome the power of the spirit within.
With a roar it demanded her blood. A scream inside him that made every inch of skin buzz painfully toward the action. Hevn could only resist the propelling force so much.
Hevn's arm jerks to the hilt of the blade. Both hands tremble as they lock upon it and he stops the urges to release its fury. With a snarl his eyes open to raze it with his eyes.
Many rapid visions came to him. Flashes of the sword's power. He watched himself crumble over and over to the seductive power that lurked within the weapon. No blade had ever made him succumb to such anger and blood lust.
A feral look overtook Bedrovelse's eyes as he set them upon Kali again. The urge to kill glowing in them. A thrill he adored and lusted for.
How can you be hungry still....after Muunilinst?
Blood. Her blood. It would not be her toy. It would drink her red nectar of life and smile as her soul passed on. Extinguishing life was the blade's only love. A hatred for all things living.
No. You have had enough! My will is superior to all. You will be silent. You will obey.
Hevn's visage slowly dissolved into fortitude. His will control took hold and dispelled the power of the blade. Yet Kali pushed on.
While her persistence was impressive, Hevn's fear of the sword sobered him fiercely. His wit and ferocity recovering by the moment as she pried on with all her might. She was not about to accept defeat. It would make it all the more satisfying to serve it to her.
He was struck again with a fit of rapid visions. These of Kali's making. The burning image of himself, gauntlet and sword in hand, engulfed in the flames of chaos. The terror of the many fallen to the edge of his sword, before being torn asunder by true power. After the fight with the sword these images were met with a steely wall of resilience. Hevn was a stalwart foe and was too strong to be brought to his knees by something as small as fear.
Fear kept you alive. It was an instinct. A measure of the danger around you. To be equated objectively, and not acted upon rashly. He realized the sword was in his hand. Knew the havoc he could wreak with it. Knew the pain it had caused and would cause again. His aura soared at the defiance of his fears just as Kali's sentiment made hers waver. A crushing blow to her attempt.
Just as he would have overtaken her, another wave of determination crashed upon him. Bedrovelse felt lost for a second. Hearing only the song of the sword calling his hand to it. This time he was not inspired or seduced but appalled. A horror in the prospect of its influence and control repulsed him.
No. I created it. My will prevails. It is mine. It is below me. I will not kneel.
With his final resolution he defeats her attack and releases himself from her pull in the force.
With a snort he pulls the scabbard, sword sheathed, and chucks it toward the door. It rattles across the floor with the metallic clang of skips before crashing into the wall beside the only exit. Turning his head he snaps at her angrily.
"Why did you waver?! What weakness is it that plagues your mind?"
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Post by Kali Helaine on Nov 14, 2015 6:42:00 GMT -8
Like a band of elastic pulled to its breaking point, her connection with the mind of Hevn breaks. This action causes her to blink rapidly for a moment. It was an action that bought her back to the here and now. Once conscious of her surroundings she feels the fatigue drain her both mentally and physically. She takes a deep breath and rolls her shoulders while watching the sword skip across to the door.
Her attention falls back to Hevn with caution for his anger with her was clear.
Kali rises to her feet awkwardly for his question was not one that she wished to answer. She could only begin to imagine his reaction if she was to answer clearly, her reasoning would seem pathetic to someone who she felt had forgotten to feel human emotions.
She turned and ran her fingers through her hair as she pulled it back over her head in frustration as she furiously tried to think of some alternative and believable answer, it was then she was hot with a sudden realisation that not only would he see through her lie but she would be hindering her training.
Exasperated she turned round to face him as she began to brush her hands over her clothes.
I have overcome it, so it is fine. It was something foolish and silly. They were simple fears. I was picturing all too clearly what would happen if the sword…her right hand was gesturing with an open palm toward Hevn as she tried to form the correct wording in her mind…if the sword secured its grip on you and took control.
Kali decided there that this was enough of an answer. She had been truthful in her answer so had not deceived him and could see not benefit in divulging the full details of her thoughts. This was something that she would work on in private as the last thing she needed to deal with was misunderstandings or misinterpretations. She felt foolish enough already. At the bank she had suffered the embarrassment of misinterpretation with him and Alpha. She did not want that again.
She looked him in the eye with her eyebrows raised, shrugged her shoulders and bent forward to re-lace her boots
That’s it. Simple
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Post by Bedrovelse Hevn on Nov 15, 2015 4:47:13 GMT -8
As Kali rises Hevn mirrors her, never breaking his gaze. Her answer was far from satisfactory and his rage flared again.
His battle with the sword and the girl made him shaky. His control was not in place and his power ebbed and flowed violently, spiking at her pathetic reply to an important an honest inquiry.
"LIAR!"
Bedrovelse Hevn screamed the word at her as if he had been shot. Panic and anger making the words sting the air and burn it. The sword and scabbard flew to his hand as he extends it toward the doorway. Banging metal against metal as he caught it in his palm. His fingers wrap around it in a death grip.
In a flash he takes action. His body sweeps low and leg extends to knock her own legs out from under her. Vulnerable for the attack. Kali fell to her back and he slams the butt of the scabbard against her chest, above the heart, and likely painful to her breast. He presses down with just the force of one arm, surely enough to bruise her badly. Bedrovelse's wrath blared down upon her. A fire in his eyes to scald his apprentice. His tone is beyond grave, it was dire. A message that needed sending.
"There will come a day your weakness costs your life! Evading my wisdom and insulting my strength will only hasten the coming of that day."
Growling he releases his pin of her, placing the sword at his belt to let Kali free. Hevn narrows his eyes down at her now.
"I have had yet to observe you taking any caution whatsoever in your questions or answers. Their subject, their timing, tossed to the wind. It makes me sick to watch you crawl for a lie so pathetically. A mistake I hope you do not repeat."
Hevn extends an arm to lift her from the ground to a standing position beside him. Watching her rub the spot he sneers at her.
"A reminder not to do something foolish or silly again, apprentice. Take a lesson from this. Do not choose fears you share with the target. They might undo you."
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Post by Kali Helaine on Nov 15, 2015 6:56:06 GMT -8
She had been mistaken to think she had deceived him, as soon as the words had left her mouth she knew she had made a grave mistake, the look on his face was not one she had seen before, not even when she had questioned him over his ability to maintain control over the sword.
She blinked rapidly when the word Liar was spat at her and the rest happened so quickly she did not have the chance to apologise and reveal the truth.
She was so in shock that she did not have the time to even begin to try and defend himself. Her eyes caught the sword fly into his grip and even then she did not believe he was going to try and hurt her. A foolish move on her part for her legs were swept from beneath her leaving her to fall harshly to the floor beneath her, she felt back with her back taking the full impact of the fall and expelling all air from her lungs. By now her eyes were wide with shock. Had this been anyone else, she would have fought, but this was Hevn, this was her Master and she was deserving of his punishment so despite the pain and the anger of receiving such a brutal lesson, she took it.
AS the butt came crashing down upon her breast she clasped her teeth closed and held her breath. She refused to cry out; it was her one act of defiance and stubborn nature. Her hands lifted and cupped his hand and the butt of the sword as she tried to relieve the pressure.
Finally she caught her breath and managed a deep inhale.
Her eyes relax a little now; they are less round and angrier. Not angry at Hevn but at herself for being so stupid. His words hit home sending a far stronger message than the attack itself. Inside she was chastising herself in a far more brutal manner. Despite her stubborn nature she was honest with herself and knew his words to be true, she was harming no one but herself in her willingness to withhold from him.
As he releases his hold of her she drops her head back to the floor and takes a deep breath whilst rubbing the deep bruising that she could feel forming upon her breast but the ball of her hand.
With a deep breath once she extends her hand and accepts his assistance to help her from the floor. She continues to rub at the bruise and looks down upon it to witness the bruise forming quickly and deeply before she looks to him whilst listening silently.
I am sorry. My reluctance came from not wishing you to misinterpret my fears. I know they are foolish and felt that I could overcome them myself, a mistake a will not make again. You have my word.
There were two fears that made me hesitate. One was a selfish fear. I was able to vividly picture what would happen if the sword were to overcome you and how it would kill Alpha and I. The second…that you would be trapped inside your own mind while the sword tortured you. Foolish I know, but I did not want you to spend eternity being tortured by it. It was all too vivid that for a moment it felt all too real.
This is why I did not tell you, I did not wish for you to think me foolish or misunderstand the meaning of my worries.
It would seem that speaking of my own feelings is not very comfortable; I feel an awkward embarrassment which leaves me feeling vulnerable.
Indeed Kali was feeling more exposed than she had ever felt before and she hated it. It made her feel weak and pathetic; she would rather suffer Hevns previous attack repeatedly than have to suffer how she was feeling right now. She could feel her cheeks and ears burning a crimson red as she spoke and waited awkwardly for his response. Awkwardly she rubbed the bruise before dropping her eyes to the floor. She had never felt more human.
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