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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2013 4:31:19 GMT -8
You can ride a horse, but the horse would much rather ride you.
I wish we had an accurate means of predicting the weather up here. I swear we're doing this whole desert thing wrong.
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The Major
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Post by The Major on Jul 2, 2013 14:53:42 GMT -8
Granted, but you're the guy assigned to monitor the station. It's done in the typical Yankee-Army fashion with a broken German handmedown that a guy in Bosnia spilled coffee upon -held together with green duct tape, bungie cord, and good old apple pie and water beer infused hope marked with a Mcdonald's tramp stamp.
Gott bless Amerika, vhere ut least ich know Ich bin frei.
Quick, grab a bud light and salute old glory for auld lang syne! Then argue about wedding rights while watching movies staring Matt Damon!
I wish I could knit an American flag armband at this very moment. I am overcome with national pride for my adopted Fatherland.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2013 9:33:07 GMT -8
You are able to knit the arm band. But wait, what is this? Knitting is fun. And if knitting is fun, maybe other domestic activities are fun. Before you know it, you've betrayed the feminist cause and are now a docile housewife in training.
I wish to see the look of utter loathing on your face when you read that.
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The Major
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Post by The Major on Jul 3, 2013 10:06:58 GMT -8
Fuck you and absolutely every single molecule you've ever touched in any way. Fucking granted, you fuck. I will take a picture of it. However, I will also be taking a picture of your mangled corpse.
I wish that the writer behind Eralam remembers to please ask the Army send me a letter upon his death with no detail spared. I also wish I'll find the perfect picture frame for it..
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2013 10:11:16 GMT -8
Both your wishes are granted. But in the process, reality begins to think that I really am the goddamn Robot Space Ninja. I will not be killed by anything less than a galactic level catastrophe.
I wish to keep your rage stoked for the next few hours, because it is fucking hilarious.
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The Major
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Post by The Major on Jul 3, 2013 10:28:24 GMT -8
Granted, but it warps into repressed rage. You'll note it no longer.
I wish there was justice on Earth.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2013 10:32:10 GMT -8
There is justice on earth. You are its champion. But to enforce it, you have to transform. On the bright side, you make a very cute Sailor Moon.
I wish to be your sidekick, responsible for broadcasting the heroic images to every corner of the planet.
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The Major
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Post by The Major on Jul 3, 2013 10:41:47 GMT -8
*teeth grind*
Granted, you're that cat that follows Serena, what's its face.... Artemis.
I wish I did not just grind my teeth like that -again. My dentist said that's a no-no.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2013 10:45:59 GMT -8
You don't grind your teeth, because knitting is so relaxing.
I wish that this fun would never end.
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The Major
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Post by The Major on Jul 3, 2013 11:04:18 GMT -8
It does not end -for me- since I have killed you.
I wish nimrods would realize knitting isn't a betrayal of feminism if you knit only for yourself.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2013 11:08:12 GMT -8
Nimrods realize this and begin knitting in droves. But then everyone is doing it, and your inner hipster demands that you stop. Once again the rage builds, until you find another release: scrapbooking.
I wish I had something better to do with my time at the moment other than chain smoking and trolling. For Christ's sake, the entire country is in an uproar, there's a possibility of a military coup, and it's dead quiet here. Not so much as a single protester.
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The Major
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Post by The Major on Jul 3, 2013 11:30:46 GMT -8
Granted. You're assigned to laundry duty. In an hour you'll be washing 300 pairs of sweaty underwear by hand.
I wish the Last of Us wasn't crap.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2013 11:36:58 GMT -8
Joke's on you. The Egyptian government supplies folks to do that.
Last of us isn't shit. But it still tanks, and the developers go under. There shall be no more originality in the gaming industry.
I wish I hadn't made my previous wish. Sharm is sounding awful interesting right about now.
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The Major
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Post by The Major on Jul 3, 2013 17:58:57 GMT -8
Granted, but something messes it up, since that's the game.
I wish someone would damage my brain and leave me a pitiful, dribbling mess drawing simple pictures of flowers and saying only nice things about everyone.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2013 18:00:57 GMT -8
Someone would, but they're stuck on another continent. Try listening to Top 40 radio for a while, it'll have the same effect after a bit.
I wish they'd let us have a beer or two for the 4th.
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Post by The Major on Jul 3, 2013 19:02:28 GMT -8
Granted, but it's PBR.
I wish I would share my whiskey if I could, but I will not.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2013 19:04:04 GMT -8
You would share your whiskey, but you have no one to share it with. Which is a shame, because I could use some.
I wish for some whiskey.
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Post by The Major on Jul 3, 2013 19:16:30 GMT -8
You've got it. This bottle I have is now yours. Too bad I'm drinking it for you. Here, here is a shot for you.
Gulp.
Ahhhhhhh.
I wish I could see people in these moments.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2013 19:17:24 GMT -8
You could, but you choose not to.
I wish I could reach through the screen to grab the whiskey.
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The Major
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Post by The Major on Jul 3, 2013 19:30:22 GMT -8
You can, but by the time you do you realize it's all gone.
Oooooooooooooooooops.
I wish I could feel the malice.
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